"There is so much change going on right now ... not only with me, but in the world, as well."
- Britney Spears to her fans, on her Web site.
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In a decisive victory Tuesday night, country singer Toby Keith defeated Eminem, Bruce Springsteen, R.E.M., Green Day, Dave Matthew's Band, Dixie Chicks, John Fogerty, John Mellencamp, James Taylor, Foo Fighters, Jadakiss and countless other musicians in the battle of the band endorsements. The country and western singer was virtually the only recording artist to tout George W. Bush, who won the popular vote over John Kerry to re-capture the presidency. Expect a spike in sales, Toby, you soothsayer, you.
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Talk about getting out of work early. On Wednesday night, customers attempting to eat at the on-campus McDonald's entered the restaurant at 9:30 p.m. only to be told it was closed. Both doors were open, and the sign outside clearly stated that the restaurant was open until 11 p.m. When several perplexed customers asked why the eatery was closed, one employee just shook her head and swiped the edge of her hand across her throat in the universal "it's done" symbol.
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A man paid for two pretzels with a $100 bill at Auntie Anne's on Wednesday. Well, better than paying with plastic.
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Solidarity brother! While the rest of the nation appears starkly divided after this Tuesday's presidential election, at least the District is united. A whopping 90 percent of District voters chose Kerry, giving the senator a whopping three electoral votes. These votes weren't enough to nudge Kerry to the precious 270, so Bush will make his bed in the White House for another four years. Which is ironic. It's like Steve Jobs going to work for Apple at Microsoft's offices.
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"How can 59,054,087 be so dumb!" That's what the The Drudge Report claims is the caption on the cover of equally-as-credible U.K. news source The Daily Mirror. The caption appears under a large picture of George W. Bush. Filmmaker and iconoclast Michael Moore's first reponse is a posting on his Web site of a collage of Bush's face made up of photographs of soldiers who have died in the war in Iraq. Not to be outdone in the pro-Kerry camp, The Boston Globe online had a "Not Over Yet" headline posted until well into Wednesday night.
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One Scene staffer's friend had her car broken into last week in the Shaw District. When a cop showed up 25 minutes after he was called, he shone his flashlight inside the car to survey the crime scene. The first words out of his mouth? "Is your parking brake not on? You know that's a violation." Let that be a warning to all: Make sure you put on your parking brake so that you don't get arrested when your car is broken into.
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Move to Canada? If you've IMed any Democrats, chances are you've seen more than a couple away messages contemplating a move to the nation of the Maple Leaf. And even if you're a Republican, you can see their point. What nation could be cooler than one that is the home of hockey, Labatt Blue, Red Green, bilingual road signs, industrial hemp and Peter Jennings. So for those who are serious, I say take I-87 north as far as you can, and then drive some more. But remember that line from "Cool Runnings" this winter. "It's not the heat, it's the humidity that kills you."
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- DANIEL LONGINO, IAN QUILLEN, CRISTA SCATURRO & DAN ZAK.
weekend@theeagleonline.com
