Top 50 reasons why I am voting for Kerry (and why you should, too):
1. I want my cousins to come home from Iraq, soon, in one piece, not in a box.
2. I want to dance at ALL my friends' weddings.
3. The little Edwards children are the most adorable munchkins I have ever seen.
4. A president who surrounds himself with advisers who accuse Foreign Service Officers of being partisan, unpatriotic and disloyal can't possibly believe in the value of diplomacy.
5. I want to make a full dollar to a man's, instead of 73 cents.
6. If you can't eat a pretzel right, you really shouldn't be commander in chief of anything.
7. When we'd rather work closely with ex-KGB and wannabe dictator Putin than democratically elected Chirac, we have a problem.
8. I want to keep my right to choose.
9. I want to keep religion out of politics.
10. I don't want all my friends to move to Canada. It's cold up there.
11. The neo-cons in the Pentagon have made it a policy goal to dismantle the United Nations. Does anybody remember how things were before we had multilateral institutions? Oh yeah, eternal bloody warfare.
12. I want a job when I get out of school. A real one. In the United States.
13. John Edwards is the one politician I would sleep with in a heartbeat.
14. It's all well and good to pledge billions of dollars to fighting AIDS, but what good is that when we have a global gag rule against funding anyone who even mentions abortion? It's unrealistic to pretend that birth control, sexual health and AIDS aren't intimately linked, and it's childish to believe that abstinence-only education will stop people from having sex.
15. I want my kids to be born in a world where they can swim in the ocean, roll around in the grass and breathe fresh air without sprouting a wing because of pollution.
16. Bush's withdrawal from the Israeli-Palestinian peace process is shameful, especially compared to the progress made by our last two Democratic presidents, Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton.
17. I can't wait to see Michael Moore flip-flop and start making movies against Kerry.
18. There is no such thing as nucular weapons. But Kerry will take care of the nuclear ones.
19. Refusing to engage in bilateral talks with North Korea is just stupid. Everyone else has, and Clinton and Albright made prodigious headways bilaterally until Bush was installed into office.
20. I want my kids to go to public school and actually learn things other than filling in bubbles.
21. I want my mom to be able to afford her prescriptions.
22. In a long, long time, when I retire, I want Medicare to still be there for me.
23. My roommate needs an internship, and she'll have an easier time finding one under a Democratic administration.
24. You don't get rid of problems by declaring war on them.
25. International relations isn't a zero-sum game unless you make it one.
26. Osama wants Bush to be re-elected: a continuation of Bush's disastrous foreign policy would further antagonize fringe elements in Arab and Muslim societies and incite them to join terrorist groups. Iran and the KKK have officially endorsed him as well. I don't consort with that lot.
27. Civil liberties are nice. I'd like to keep mine.
28. Believe in science, fund stem-cell research!
29. I want my tax dollars to fund a socially progressive agenda, not Halliburton.
30. Powell doesn't want to stay for a second Bush term, Condi and Rummy want to get rid of him, but Bush might trick him into staying on. Give Colin a break and let the man retire.
31. When the populations of every significant country on Earth oppose our leader and his policies, it kind of makes me think.
32. Bush never inspired anyone to make porn (P.S. If anyone has "Fahrenheit 69: the Porn for Kerry DVD," can I borrow it? Thanks).
33. Kerry actually volunteered to go to Vietnam. Bush, Cheney and Clinton all got out of it.
34. Kerry knows that it is more patriotic to bring your country's mistakes to light than to blindly rally around the flag.
35. Anyone who exploits the memory of those who died on 9/11 deserves to be spit on. After the "September 11th Revival" that was the Republican National Convention, I don't think there's enough saliva in my body.
36. I'm sick of having to pretend I'm Canadian when I travel abroad.
37. Sex scandals are a lot more fun than grammatical blunders. It's the Democratic way.
38. Let's face it, I REALLY want Hillary or Barack to be president, but I can wait for a few years if Kerry will do the opening act.
39. Bush has made a specialty of running moderately successful companies into the ground. That worries me. Not to mention what he did to the federal budget.
40. Democrats are sexier - whoever heard of a hot piece of elephant?
41. When my home state, Kentucky, votes for something, you know it's a bad idea.
42. Let's face it, they're all out-of-touch billionaires, as much as Edwards likes to go on about his poor beginnings. At least Kerry will increase his own taxes and leave ours alone.
43. Teresa is a real role model: She admits to her plastic surgery, speaks several languages, and she has the ultimate trophy husband.
44. The White House chef cries himself to sleep over Bush's complete lack of appreciation for fine dining.
45. "It's hard work" is not a domestic policy.
46. The Kerry girls are hotter. (Remember Alexandra's see-through dress?)
47. John Kerry will perform CPR on a hamster.
48. John Kerry is a Red Sox fan.
49. The National Zoo could use an extra monkey.
50. They stole our election last time, and we really deserve this one.
