The only thing worse than a mandatory meeting is a "fundatory" meeting. Fundatory? As if this made-up word can trick me into thinking that attending a group intern meeting is by no means obligatory but entirely voluntary. And the real difference between Mandatory and her flirty, aloof sister, Fundatory? About $7 an hour, before taxes.
Even though the dinner wasn't mandatory in the traditional sense, I still showed up. Why would I subject myself to two hours of unnecessary, unpaid interaction with socially awkward co-workers? Because I knew very few people would attend, thus granting me a chance to outperform even the interns who worked harder than me during the day. You see, succeeding at an internship is all about fulfilling smaller expectations (attending a fundatory office-wide dinner) and ignoring the larger ones (being productive at the office).
When you're an intern, no one in the office really expects too much from you. Sure, you are firmly encouraged to show up for work on time, but the staff assistant probably has as much difficulty remembering your internship schedule as she does your name. And once you're safely nestled in your cubicle, what's the toughest task your boss could throw at you? No matter what you do or how poorly you do it, there will have been a former intern who messed things up worse than you.
This crossed my mind each day during my summer internship at the radio station. I'd stroll into the office-rarely late by more than an hour-and within a few minutes, my boss would notice my presence and give me something to do. Even if it was simply calling a few lucky listeners who had won dinner for two at Ruby Tuesday, I'd seize the opportunity to transcend the standard left by previous interns-that as being completely and utterly mediocre. And, boy, did I wow my boss! She really admired my "people skills" and the way I refrained from racial slurs and sexual innuendo over the phone.
Over time, I earned the respect of my boss and, subsequently, more responsibilities, like designing promotional materials, working the microphone during sales events and telling other interns what to do. In the eyes of my employer, I had "succeeded," when all I really did was outperform those who had so pathetically underperformed in the past. (Of course, this strategy won't work at internships requiring a high GPA, letters of recommendation or previous work experience. Avoid these internships.)
Here are some more tips on being a successful intern:
1. Act "as if." That is to say, you don't have to be a successful intern to act as if you are one. To act as if, show up for work five minutes early and leave five minutes late. You won't be any more productive but your boss will nevertheless label you as an "eager beaver." Other ways to act as if: Ask lots of questions, especially when you know the answers. And when you leave for your lunch break, say to your boss, "See you in 20 minutes!" but don't return for an hour.
2. Delegate the hardest tasks to the dumbest interns. By showing up early, you'll be the first to access that day's list of assignments. Dive into the simpler, more tedious tasks, and reserve the harder, more creative projects for the others. By constantly setting up your colleagues for failure, you not only seem smarter by comparison, but you've also lowered your boss's expectations. Remember: the lower the star, the easier it is for you to reach it!
3. It's not about the impression your internship leaves on you, but the impression it leaves on your resum?. So even if you fail, you should, at the very least, succeed at padding your resum?. As the internship comes to a close, casually ask a fellow intern for a copy of his updated resume. If he initially objects, offer to trade resum?s in the interest of catching spelling errors. (You'll want to offer him a useless, unimpressive resum?, so just photocopy a template from the Career Center.) Once you've amassed a collection of resum?s, sample here and there to craft the ultimate job description. You'll thank me in a semester or two, when you're ready to pretend to succeed at yet another internship!
