A group of college-aged guys are walking down the street together. Classes are over for the week, and it's a nice day out, so everyone is feeling relaxed.
Suddenly, one of the guys turns to his friends and makes a joke about one of the members of the group. Everyone laughs, including the targeted friend. To make sure that his friend isn't too hurt by his jests, the joker grabs his friend, gives him a hug and a quick slap on the rear end. They continue walking, punching each other on the shoulder every few steps.
Obviously, this isn't a scene from a group of American males. If such a scene were to take place in America, there probably wouldn't even be any touching at all.
From greeting each other with a kiss on the cheek to holding hands while walking down the street, men in Europe are much more affectionate than any American men I've encountered.
I've been to several countries in Europe in the past few months, and I've found this to be true everywhere. Instead of shying away from physical contact, Europeans embrace any form of fondness, even if it means - gasp! - a man hugging another man.
So why haven't American males embraced this long-standing European tradition? Without trying to delve into the inner psyches of American males, I'll try to answer this question from what I've observed here.
First of all, the word "gay" is rarely, if ever, uttered in a discriminatory way. When guy friends make fun of each other, they tend to keep insults on a playful, non-offensive level. While this certainly can't be true in every European male's case, it seems to happen more often than not. With no fear of being considered gay by friends, men can take on a more relaxed attitude towards each other.
Also, in each of the countries I've visited, public displays of affection are not looked down upon in the same way as they are by Americans. In fact, physical affection seems to be encouraged as a way of showing the public one's fondness for someone else. These extremely friendly displays are not limited to couples, but also include friends. It's so common to see two straight men fixing each other's hair or holding hands while crossing a busy street.
I'm admittedly content with most American social conventions, but the Europeans have something going here. I'd rather see two male friends comfortable enough with themselves to display some outward display of emotion towards one another. It would be a welcome alternative to the "keep a safe distance so no one will suspect anything" mentality that seems to pervade a lot of American men's minds.
Switching to a more openly affectionate culture would be a difficult transition, but not an impossible one. In fact, this new trend could start at AU! So guys, grab your best friend and put your arm around his shoulder and proudly proclaim your affection for each other!
