Cheap ways to enter 'The Matrix'
Halloween may be over, but it's not too late (or too expensive) to jump on "The Matrix" bandwagon.
1. Cheap sunglasses
All the cool kids in "The Matrix" wear their Ray-Ban knockoffs at night.
$6.99; CVS, 4555 Wisconsin Ave.
2. Kickboxing lessons
The Jacobs Fitness Center will prepare you for the next time you encounter a malevolent clone in a computer-generated dimension.
$5 per session; Jacobs Fitness Center.
3. Pleather pants
If Batman is known for his cape, then Neo is known for his stylish leather pants. If you can't afford the real thing, pick up some pleather at a thrift store, where one man's trash is another man's awful fashion trend.
Various; Montgomery County Thrift Shop, 7125 Wisconsin Ave.
4. Toy gun
Promote gun violence by shooting your friends with imaginary bullets that slice through the air in impossibly slow motion.
$9.99; CVS, 4555 Wisconsin Ave.
5. Laser pen
This may not have any relevance to the movie, but a laser pen seems like something that would totally belong in "The Matrix."
6. Hair gel
The Matrix is no place for bouffant hairdos. You'll have to slick that back!
$3.99; CVS, 4555 Wisconsin Ave.
7. "The Matrix" and "The Matrix: Reloaded"
This last installment of "The Matrix" will not make sense unless you've seen the first two. Downloading movies is illegal, but for those willing to break the law they are available for free off Kazaa (Or purchase them at Best Buy).
8. Matrix-code screensaver
Wow, it's like you're that guy in "The Matrix" who hacks the code! Except you're just a lame freshman who plays "Halo" all day. Whatever.
Remember that scene in "The Matrix: Reloaded" where the woman orgasms from eating cake? If you think that was crazy, just wait until you try the cake at TDR.
One meal plan; TDR.
10. Philosophy book
Borrow some books on modern philosophy from the library and you'll be prattling endlessly about the existence of man, just like Morpheus.
Free; Bender Library