"So what's with stealing my panties?" I thought as I discovered more and more of my belongings tucked away in her room.
An ex-roommate of mine had some problems and often acted psychotic. If I wasn't home by 10 p.m. she would call around looking for me, and if anybody called she would tell them that I had dropped out of school, just so she could keep tabs. Not so long after I decided I was going to move out, the police were involved in one of our spats and what I had considered a fulfilling friendship was now completely shattered.
As the last of my belongings were transferred to the truck, I decided that I would just go through her room one time and see if she had anything of mine tucked away. Needless to say, I found about six pairs of my panties stuffed into a bag within a bag in her bedroom. I let her keep them, but I couldn't help but feel a little flustered at the invasion of my personal space.
There are all types of friends we encounter during our lives. You know the different kinds: There are the ones you spend your entire childhood with - the seemingly endless nights at the diner, starting to drive, and then going to bars. These types of friends transcend through the years, and continue to remain by your side. There are friends that you see around campus, and friends that you never want to see again. My old roommate is the later.
The friends that you never want to see again are the ones that have caused damage. You know the type. They're the ones that slept with your boyfriend, or weren't there for you when you needed them. They're the ones that stole your underwear. Yet no matter how hard you try to deny the fact, you squirm at any information you can receive about them from somebody else. It's as though you don't want to know, but in another way, you do.
When I speak with people who continue to talk to my old roommate I love the fact that I can learn and follow her life - but from the sidelines. I enjoy learning about her new boyfriends, her graduation from school and her great new job. Even though I don't ever want to see her again, there is a secret part of me that still wants to know that she's doing OK.
And that's important. No matter how hard we are hurt, and no matter how much we suffer, we still always care. I'll never forget the good times I spent with her and I do like knowing what she's up to. I just don't wish to know her personally anymore.
I guess it's part of life. The friendships that we have with one another are so profound; we don't realize their importance until we look back at them. My friend stealing my underwear, in the long scheme of things, isn't that important. It's important that no matter what moments occur, a relationship existed.
I'm saying it's important to note experiences like these and move on. I believe that things occur daily in life for a reason, and although I don't understand why she took my underwear, I do know that, deep down, I still care about her.
Friendships exist so that we can make ourselves better. They exist so that we can see our faults and try to change them; and at the same time, build our strengths. Friendships, just like other experiences, make us who we are today. Although my friend crossed the border, I wish her the best of luck, and I hope that she receives daily blessings from life - and maybe a little counseling.
I truly wish for all of you to realize that though friendships come and go, instead of trying to punish people for their mistakes, we should try to come to an understanding. We look not towards what they did wrong, or how the friendship ended, but rather to the good times we had with the person and the things he or she taught us.
You see, you can't go through life thinking that everybody is out to get you. You have to start trusting people for who they are, and what they can help you become. Although I am missing six pairs of underwear and a friend, I can still tell you, to this day, that I will always have a roommate in the back of my mind.
