Making buddies and booty calls

Sex and Sensibility

So, I know everybody is having sex. We are into the first month of school, so I hope all of you have committed yourself to one person (all right, fine - two or three people). And I hope you no longer have sex due to influential substances or hopes to climb the social hierarchy. It should be purely for your pleasure. No more one-night stands, now your chosen ones should be new cell phone numbers.

If you have found someone that you are comfortable enough to be with more than once - congratulations! But this is only the beginning. You have to decide what kind of sexual relationship will satisfy your needs, and this goes for both sexes. Let's go through some different relationships:

There is the lowest of the totem pole, which is passionately referred to as a "fu-bu" (you guys can figure out the missing letters). Basically, a "fu-bu" has sex whenever a specific person asks or calls. Here is an example:

Boy: "Hi Maria." Girl: "Hi Chris." Boy: "What are you doing?" Girl: "Nothing. What are you doing?" Boy: "Nothing. Do you want to come over and watch a movie?" Girl: "I don't know. I am kind of tired." Boy: "Come on, I'm bored." Girl: "Alright, I will be over in five."

Now, I know every girl has had at least one of these conversations. I will say it proudly, I have. But when you look back on it you feel ashamed and disgusted at yourself. But look at this way, you wanted the sex too.

A step up from being a "fu-bu" is that stage where you are having sex with one or two people and deciding who is better in bed. A lot of factors play into this sexual period: The size, the sounds, the smell, the hand positions, the equipment used and especially, the atmosphere. Note to every one of both genders: Don't wear socks during sex. It looks really ridiculous to see your covered feet up in the air, while you are in your birthday suit.

If you do decide to wear your socks, turn off the lights to avoid this embarrassing factor.

The final step in this sexual process is when you have found one person to prey on for you sexual fulfillment. But with this title of commitment comes a lot of different sexual experiences. You have the "romantic evening under the covers," which essentially entails candles, nighttime, down comforters, total nakedness and sweat on every inch of your body.

Then there is the "quickie." This is mastered only by the finest of mediocre and serious couples because they are being naughty when they should be in class. Horniness levels are off the charts. You find your partner and coincidentally you both have classes in Ward. Go to an open auditorium (there is always one open during the day , not that I know). The wall is a good place to start and finish because you never know who has the same idea. You and your partner leave and go outside for a cigarette and feel amazing for the rest of the day. This occurrence can also arise at clubs and bars - just don't wear your undergarments.

In essence, all I have written is what you are thinking every minute of the day: "She used her teeth!" and "Why does he always grunt while he is down there?" Or "I didn't even think I could do that with my legs before."

Every sexual instance is the same unless you find something to make it different in that moment. A new position, a different rubbing style, unique tongue usages (i.e. tongue rings are always appreciated) are all ways of opening new doors to mischievous but exciting acts of passion. Think about it!

The Safety Tip: Soap does not replace lubricant - just say no!

The Sex Tip: When using strong mints to heighten the pleasure of your male partner, make sure you chew before you "blow"

Never miss a story

Get our weekly newsletter delivered right to your inbox.

More from The Eagle