Hot Coffee lawsuit

Jay At Large

I was recently made aware of a lawsuit against a fast-food restaurant. A woman purchased a cup of coffee in a drive through, stuck the piping hot Java in between her knees and drove off. As she jetted from the scene, the hot coffee spilled, causing third degree burns.

Our court system awarded the half-wit three million dollars. Apparently the coffee was 190 degrees, making it a dangerous weapon. It's unfortunate that someone was hurt, but the whole story sounds ridiculous.

Admittedly, 190 degree water isn't something to be played with. Hey, that's hot coffee. Why those idiots make coffee so hot is beyond me. Maybe they have tongues made of asbestos. Whatever the reason, that was the product they were producing, and that was the product bought.

It has been my experience that every time I try coffee from a fast-food spot, the first sip is so hot it curls my toenails. Placing the substance in such a vulnerable area doesn't seem like a good plan. It makes no sense. It's like walking in the Anderson showers without hip boots. Just a bad idea. A virtual time bomb waiting to go off. Nevertheless, it was done.

So the question is, who is to blame? Well, I believe in a little thing called personal responsibility. Lets start taking responsibility for our actions instead of continually passing the buck. Ignorance, or in this case a complete lack of common sense, is no excuse.

An example: How many times have I taken a chomp out of a slice of pizza, only to cry "Uncle" as the skin of my mouth gets crispy fried? Many. You can bet that I get a little bitter the next week as an annoying little piece of skin dangles behind my front teeth like a second uvula. Am I bitter towards the pizza maker? On the surface it might seem that way. However, I know deep down that I'm the hump at blame. Personal responsibility oozes like an open sore.

After this coffee incident, you can bet people are going to drive around like nomads with hot coffee between their knees. Some people will do anything for a buck. Get some dignity, ingrates.

It's time for America to wake up and smell this woman's car seat. If we continue to point fingers after every private accident, people will never leave their homes. If you hurt yourself, stand up proud and say "I'm the moron at fault." Rest assured, people will think well of you.

Well, that's the way I see it. Everybody's entitled to their own opinion. Just keep yours to yourself.

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