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Thursday, March 28, 2024
The Eagle
	The Big Mark

JM Eats (A Lot): Homemade poptarts and grease at Ted’s Bulletin

Breakfast all day, yummy milkshakes and endless burger variations. No, I’m not talking about Tenleytown staple Osman’s Steak & Egg. The wonderful diner-esque Ted’s Bulletin on 8th Street just opened their second restaurant on 14th Street, making it easier for AU students beleaguered by TDR dinners to get everything they want at Ted’s.

The American fare restaurant famous for its spiked “adult milkshakes” and homemade poptarts, came across my Yelp search after looking for a place different people would enjoy. The 14th Street location has a bakery portion right next to the bar so you and your friends can gawk at the pies, cakes and other goodies that you’ll want after your meal.
Seating was plentiful in the moderately spacious booth-style area and the staff was generally helpful and patient when it came to first-timers, like myself. The menu was extensive and for someone who enjoys breakfast food at all hours of the day, it can take a while to decide what you want.

Before I settled on an entree, my friends and I spotted the milkshake list and both ordered an oreo shake. The special thing about Ted’s is that they don’t only give you a thick, creamy milkshake, but also the container it was made in with all of the extras. The milkshakes are $6, but you get your worth in the generous amount. Another unique thing about Ted’s is their homemade poptarts. They have everything from traditional strawberry to maple and bacon flavors with gooey filling. There are some people who actually go to Ted’s just to take some poptarts home for the week, so it’s understandable why they are so coveted.

After the waitress became a bit impatient with my indecisiveness, I settled on the T.U.B.S. (The Ultimate Breakfast Sammy). The breakfast sandwich is piled high with layers of sausage, cheese, fried and scrambled eggs and bacon all on Texas toast with a side of hashbrowns. In hindsight, it might have been unwise to preface my meal with a loaded oreo milkshake. I couldn’t finish the massive sandwich in one sitting but definitely thought it was the right amount of savory and salty flavors in one packed sandwich. If you are really craving artery-clogging food, the T.U.B.S. is a great choice, but it took me a day and a half to finish the greasy breakfast sandwich of champions.

Outside of their 24.7 breakfast options, Ted’s does serve a full lunch and dinner menu with typical American cuisine like burgers, soups, meatloaf, steak and ribs.

Because I stuck to the breakfast menu, I can’t comment on the lunch or dinner specialties, but they offer a wide-range. A friend of mine is loyal to the meatloaf while another is keen to the peanut butter and bacon burger. I think the appeal to Ted’s is that you can go out with a large group of people and keep everyone happy with their classic American menu. Even though the food hits the taste buds just right, Ted’s doesn’t offer anything new in their dishes. But, it isn’t necessary for every restaurant to innovate. Ted found its niche in local fare and should stick to it. I don’t think everyone can handle a menu full of inventions like the T.U.B.S.

Ted’s prices range from $9-14, but diners definitely get what they paid for. The food is always a conversation starter and full of comfort and familiarity.

Check it out at 1818 14th Street in the U Street Corridor.

jsmith@theeeagleonline.com


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