Hardcore Wonking: A satirical look at our University

I’m a junior in who started out in School of International Service, switched sophomore year to double majoring in the School of Public Affairs and School of Communication, but now remains undecided in the College of Arts and Sciences. I hear there’s an Accounting Major…that could work.

“Hardcore Wonking” is a column dedicated to reporting the most satirical news available. Anything written and printed in the column is plausible, possible and utterly false. “Hardcore Wonking” will regularly provide humorous fake news articles, styled to mirror those genuine news stories covered by The Eagle. These stories may be based off of real events happening at AU, or may originate from pure whimsy. All stories will relate to the AU community, as who can deny the sometimes ridiculous, if not wonderfully unique quality our college boasts.

“Hardcore Wonking” stories are to be seriously enjoyed, not taken seriously. So please, for the love of Neil Kerwin, don’t be bewildered by anything you read from this column, chances are it’ll never come true.

- American Wonker

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