This day could not get any better.
Here I sit in Mary Graydon Center, enjoying the hustle and bustle of busy students passing and the idle chatter of some cute sorority girls.
There is only one thing that could make this day any better - reading War and Peace right here in the middle of MGC!
What did you just ask me?
"Why would I read 'War and Peace' in the middle of this crowded area," you asked?
Well ... where else would I go?
I actually rather enjoy reading this extremely complicated, dense, mid-19th century text most when I am being constantly distracted.
To be honest - I don't even get why you would ask me that question. MGC is the only place where a steady stream of people can see me reading this conspicuously large book. Why wouldn't I want to read here?
In fact, I find your question rude. I thought you were walking over here to incredulously ask me why I was reading such an advanced novel. I would then have been happy to try and explain the complicated plot of this masterpiece and my irresistible need to read it right this second, right here. You probably wouldn't have understood what I was saying anyway because, unlike me, you haven't devoted your life to reading Russian literature in public places.
You see, what Tolstoy was trying to do was examine the deterioration of Russian society through a historical analysis of Russia's involvement in the Napoleonic War and the resulting failed uprising by ex-war officers now famously known as the Decembrists.
What was that? You have never heard of this obscure historical reference that I just made? Really?
Oh, I forgot, you're just here to get some boxed lunch while I am here to study the geo-political ramifications of Russian literature.
If you would like you could sit here and eat your lunch while I determinedly ignore you and pretend to read.
Actually right when you came along I was on page 756 and things were getting really interesting - which is not to say that I haven't absolutely loved every single page of this book, because I have. It's just to say that I was at a particularly interesting part when you rudely interrupted me.
Like I said before, it's complicated, but I'm pretty sure that Tolstoy just debunked the myth of Russian nobles' corruptive passivity in the face of external pressures.
I don't understand the problem here. There is no better place in the world to try and decipher complicated analogies written over a century ago then right here in front of Einstein Bros. Bagels.
What was that? "Do I always read 'War and Peace' in public?"
Why ... Of course I do!
This reminds me of that time I asked everyone on my floor to come with me to see that obscure foreign film! I just figured that everyone would enjoy a two-hour musical examination of inequality among Burundi's lower class. People didn't have to be so rude when they said no.
People just don't understand my diverse tastes.
But, whatever. I'm glad you came over here and talked to me so you could see how I was reading this really long, critically acclaimed book that is perhaps the finest piece of literature ever written.
I'll be here the same time tomorrow reading, but I would appreciate if you left me alone as I only come to MGC when I have serious work to do.
You can reach this columnist at eddedpage@thealbatrossonline.com.
