Saturday, April 1
Officers reported to Mary Graydon Center after students reported a female student having a nervous breakdown due to the lack of a police blotter in AU's campus newspaper.
A student was hit by a falling tree branch on the quad. He later reported "seeing stars."
Former AU president Len Badner was barred from campus after students reported seeing him steal food from TDR.
An unidentified male Eagle staff writer was cited for inappropriately text messaging a TDR employee.
Sunday, April 2
A student reported his laptop stolen from his room in Letts Hall. Officers cited the student, whose door was unlocked at the time, for stupidity.
Squirrels were reported drawing outlines of themselves on the quad to symbolize the number of squirrels who died in tree accidents over the past year. Officers responded and the squirrels were sighted for vandalism and disorderly conduct.
Ted Canto of TDR was caught after hours trying to rename the Georgia O'Keefe room in TDR into the "Theodore Canto Memorial Dining Room."
Monday, April 3
Bender Library was cited by Public Safety for failing to have books less than 40 years old.
Students protested in front of The Eagle's Breast, AU's on-campus convenience store, for its recent lack of greasy junk food.
Carmen Sandiego stole the golden flame on top of the Kay Spiritual Life Center. The ACME Detective Agency Chief believes the daring dastardly dame is hiding in a country the Incas once called home. Good luck, detective, and get back that flame!
