According to AU's Director of Facilities, I.P. Knightly, all restroom facilities on campus will close for five days beginning this afternoon at 3 p.m.
"High lead content in the water has been causing build-up that clogs pipes around campus," Knightly said. It could take up to five days to flush them out in all residence halls, Ward Circle Building, McKinley Building, and other structures around campus, according to Knightly.
Facilities workers fear that the D.C. lead problem isn't the only cause of the pipe failure. "A worse case, which is highly likely in this situation, would be if the acidic components in the cleansing chemicals eat away at the pipes," Knightly said. "When this occurs, bathrooms may need to be shut down indefinitely."
If this is the case, Ima Turd, spokesperson of Housing and Dining Services, reassures that four Port-a-Johns will be placed outside each residence hall until mid-winter 2004, when the pipes freeze and will be easier to replace. Each John will be equipped with squirrel guards so students "have no need to worry about being greeted by unexpected guests in the middle of the night," according to Turd.
"We certainly hope that [Port-a-Johns] will not have to be installed. However, we feel it is the most sensible alternative to meet the needs of students," says Ivonna P. Alot, resident director of Leonard Hall.
Owner/Operator of Tenley Mini-Market, Anita Dudu, has graciously offered the single uni-sex bathroom of her convenience store for use by the AU community.
"It may not be a lot to offer, but I know how tough it can be when just the one bathroom we have malfunctions. I can't imagine an entire college campus having their crapper shut down," Dudu said.
The bathrooms located on the first floor of Mary Graydon will be the only facilities to remain open with running water, said Canney Holdit, president of the People's Organization of Potties (POOP). She asserts that students are not to worry. Until the pipe problem is fixed, students are encouraged to use these bathrooms as often as needed.
To reduce long waiting lines, POOP will raffle off tickets for each bathroom. Each ticket is valid for three minutes, and can be purchased for $5 in the Tavern beginning this morning at 9.
U. R. Bowels, a sophomore in the Kogod School of Business, expressed great concern when learning of the sewage problem. "How am I supposed to get over to MGC whenever nature calls and I'm in the middle of my class in Kreeger?" he said. "This is shit"
