The Eagle

Satire: Building that time forgot discovered on campus

(04/28/22 12:56pm)

From the Newsstands: This story appeared in The Eagle's April 2022 print edition. You can find the digital version here.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/04/satire-building-that-time-forgot-discovered-on-campus

Satire: Nine questions never to ask a graduating senior

(04/18/22 8:43pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/04/satire-nine-questions-never-to-ask-a-graduating-senior

Satire: Incoming Tenleytown supermarket offers students new chance to sell labor power to capitalist class

(03/23/22 12:45pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/03/satire-incoming-tenleytown-supermarket-offers-students-new-chance-to-sell-labor-power-to-capitalist-class

Satire: AU alum doing something that reflects positively on University

(02/22/22 3:36pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/02/satire-au-alum-doing-something-that-reflects-positively-on-university

Satire: Defective U-Pass experiencing existential crisis

(02/18/22 3:13pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/02/satire-defective-u-pass-experiencing-existential-crisis

Satire: Campus-wide email blast ghost writer quits: ‘I can’t take the pressure’

(01/24/22 3:10pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/01/satire-campus-wide-email-blast-ghost-writer-quits-i-cant-take-the-pressure

Satire: University offers staff union breadcrumbs in lieu of raise and benefits

(12/09/21 5:58pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/12/satire-university-offers-staff-union-breadcrumbs-in-lieu-of-raise-and-benefits

Satire: Library books disappointed no one checks them out anymore

(11/11/21 6:23pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/11/satire-library-books-disappointed-no-one-checks-them-out-anymore

Satire: Student researcher discovers sizable portion of classmates are future war criminals

(11/05/21 10:41am)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/11/satire-student-researcher-discovers-sizable-portion-of-classmates-are-future-war-criminals

Satire: Sticky note messages on dorm windows lacking in creativity this fall

(10/12/21 2:02pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/10/satire-sticky-note-messages-on-dorm-windows-lacking-in-creativity-this-fall

Satire: Student walks in other direction to avoid potentially awkward encounter with Zoom classmate

(09/23/21 3:08pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/09/satire-student-walks-in-other-direction-to-avoid-potentially-awkward-encounter-with-zoom-classmate

Satire: Lone mask on sidewalk outside Hughes has seen better days

(09/15/21 2:00pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/09/satire-lone-mask-on-sidewalk-outside-hughes-has-seen-better-days

Satire: Students resort to passing notes during class

(09/08/21 5:48pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/09/satire-students-resort-to-passing-notes-during-class

Satire: Top 12 most ‘AU’ things students are doing this summer

(07/22/21 3:26pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/07/satire-top-12-most-au-things-students-are-doing-this-summer

Satire: Greek life loses members as students find out what it actually is

(06/28/21 2:38pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/06/satire-greek-life-loses-members-as-students-find-out-what-it-actually-is

Satire: AU assures students they can still be wonks even after end of “WONK” brand campaign

(05/13/21 6:01pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/05/satire-au-assures-students-they-can-still-be-wonks-even-after-end-of-wonk-brand-campaign

Satire: Students excited to return to campus for summer session, fall semester, oh who knows when

(04/08/21 2:12pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/04/satire-students-excited-to-return-to-campus-for-summer-session-fall-semester-oh-who-knows-when

Satire: Students horrified to learn professors can see Zoom chat

(03/11/21 4:49pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/03/satire-students-horrified-to-learn-professors-can-see-zoom-chat

Satire: AU reports record drop in campus alcohol consumption this year

(02/15/21 8:37pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/02/satire-au-reports-record-drop-in-campus-alcohol-consumption-this-year

Satire: Students speculate on what Vice President-elect Harris’ husband will wear on inauguration day

(01/03/21 7:39pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/01/satire-students-speculate-on-what-vice-president-elect-harris-husband-will-wear-on-inauguration-day