The Eagle

Satire: Leaked draft of 2022-2023 budget proposes paying adjunct faculty in unshelled peanuts

(06/23/22 1:00pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/06/satire-leaked-draft-of-2022-2023-budget-proposes-paying-adjunct-faculty-in-unshelled-peanuts

Satire: The Smirkshire accidentally triples cost of rent due to clerical error

(05/23/22 11:00am)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/05/satire-the-smirkshire-accidentally-triples-cost-of-rent-due-to-clerical-error

Satire: American University’s perpetual midterm season

(04/13/22 2:21pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/04/satire-american-universitys-perpetual-midterm-season

Satire: Jaded juniors realize college is nothing like the movies

(02/23/22 3:28pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/02/satire-jaded-juniors-realize-college-is-nothing-like-the-movies

Satire: AU men’s basketball team reflects on virtual start to season

(02/17/22 3:06pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/02/satire-au-mens-basketball-team-reflects-on-virtual-start-to-season

Satire: Students find new strategies to feign attentiveness on Zoom

(01/26/22 2:56pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/01/satire-students-find-new-strategies-to-feign-attentiveness-on-zoom

Satire: Handshake recruits under-qualified students for high-ranking positions

(01/25/22 2:56pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/01/satire-handshake-recruits-under-qualified-students-for-high-ranking-positions

Satire: First-year student returns home for Thanksgiving with entirely new personality

(12/16/21 9:31pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/12/satire-first-year-student-returns-home-for-thanksgiving-with-entirely-new-personality

Satire: Triumphant escape: Exclusive interview with Wonk Cat

(12/15/21 4:12pm)

From the Newsstands: This story appeared in our December 2021 print edition. You can find the digital version here.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/12/satire-triumphant-escape-exclusive-interview-with-wonk-cat

Satire: Office of Campus Life issues statement on burnout

(12/02/21 6:53pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/12/satire-office-of-campus-life-issues-statement-on-burnout

Satire: Students forget how to take notes by hand

(11/17/21 3:31pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/11/satire-students-forget-how-to-take-notes-by-hand

Satire: A conversation with AU’s 4 most successful fall-breakers

(11/01/21 6:14pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/11/satire-a-conversation-with-aus-4-most-successful-fall-breakers

Satire: New epidemic sweeps campus: imposter syndrome

(10/20/21 1:45pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/10/satire-new-epidemic-sweeps-campus-imposter-syndrome

Satire: The fall 2021 guide to making friends on campus

(09/06/21 5:46pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/09/satire-the-fall-2021-guide-to-making-friends-on-campus

Satire: Catching up with AU’s five science majors

(08/02/21 4:37pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/08/satire-catching-up-with-aus-five-science-majors

Satire: AU requires COVID vaccines to bolster University’s liberal reputation

(07/28/21 3:11pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2021/07/satire-au-requires-covid-vaccines-to-bolster-universitys-liberal-reputation