PARIS – The other day, I was sitting on a bench in the middle of a traffic circle, trying to enjoy a relaxing afternoon despite the discordant sounds from the Parisian road.  On a bench across the path, I noticed a teenager.  This teenager was clearly trying too hard to be cool: his hair was long and dyed black, and metal chains hung from his baggy black jeans. His black jacket was torn, and his headphones blared all the latest styles in American rap.  There was a definite aura around this fellow that he wasn’t someone to mess around with, or at least he didn’t think he was. He glanced at me, a half-glance that clearly said “I will tear out your jugular and eat your vertebrae for dinner,” and then the teenager departed.

The effect was ruined, however, by the teenager’s mode of transportation.  For this rebellious young man, who was at least 16, had chosen to traverse Paris on a mini-scooter.

Mini-scooters are all the rage in Paris.  And unlike in the United States, it’s not just kids who ride them.  Two days after seeing the teenager in the traffic circle, I witnessed a man in a shirt, tie and leather jacket whizzing down the street on his own scooter.  A few days after that, a middle-aged woman in a long skirt nearly ran me down on the sidewalk.  And the day after that, I had to wait for a bald, elderly man to scoot through the intersection before I could use the crosswalk.

Let it be known, however, that these are not the mini-scooters of our childhood.  No, these have larger wheels. They are even more ridiculous than the mini-scooters of our childhood.

This whole phenomenon got me to thinking, why aren’t mini-scooters ridden by adults in America?  They’re faster than walking and more portable than bikes.  The answer, of course, is that it is ridiculous to be scooting down the street, after one is old enough to start caring about things such as “do I look stupid?” and “whatever happened to my dignity?”

And yet somehow the French–a people who have never valued practicality over fashion–don’t mind speeding down the street as though on they are on the way to a play date with their best friend. 

Go figure.