AU’s rivalries with Georgetown and George Washington are well known, based on location. There’s also a long and storied Holy Cross rivalry that comes from years (two, to be exact) of Patriot League jostling. Three major rivalries simply aren’t enough for an Athletics program, though; just look at how many rivals Duke or UCLA has. AU can do that too-it’s all a matter of scheduling. For the benefit of the AU Athletics Department, here are 10 schools we should start rivalries with.
10. University of Texas: This rivalry could be spurred if the Longhorns lose a game to AU, but then decide that they actually won, and move to D.C. for four years. Texans have a history of doing that.
9. Rutgers University: Let’s be honest, there’s a good chance that either you or one of your friends came from a high school that essentially acts as a feeder to Rutgers.
8. New York University: I’m not even sure if they have an athletics department. I’m just still bitter that they rejected me.
7. University of Connecticut: Last year, AU Men’s Basketball beat Holy Cross by 23 points. Holy Cross beat Boston College by one. And BC beat UConn by 24. By my count, we would have beaten UConn by 48 points!
6. University of Maryland at Baltimore County: Just so we can say we beat Maryland at something.
5. University of Stanford: Claw’d could take out that tree mascot. Environmentalists beware.
4. University of South Carolina: All I ever hear from my female friends is how there are so few guys on campus. Maybe a few visits from the SC Gamecocks will satisfy them.
3. Catholic University: Because we all have inner Don Kings just itching to get out: “Can AU finally separate church from state? Or will the lord’s vengeance rain down on the Eagles? Only at American!”
2. University of Hawaii: Because we might be the only school in the continental U.S. that can match Hawaii for number of Rainbows.
1. Nassau Community College: We could bet our Tenley Liquor against their Long Island Iced Teas. Who’s the winner then? Everyone.