In yet another turn of scandal involving the American University Club Council, it was recently discovered that the AUCC’s executive board had been keeping large portions of its $500,000 club allotment funds wrapped in aluminum foil in their office freezer.
Typically, the AUCC is responsible for doling out the $500,000 among campus clubs, who submit itemized budgets in the fall and contend for a piece of the cash.
“We thought it would be safer to keep it in the freezer, in our own possession,” said club president Bill Badmen. “I wasn’t sure what to do with the money in the fall and didn’t even want this job. The outgoing president paid people to vote for me, so I figured I’d give it a try.”
This latest incident is yet another club funding scandal that has plagued the university this year. Since the beginning of the fall semester, half of the clubs that receive funding from the AUCC have admitted to partaking in less than honorable spending activities with their club money.
“We were surprised club funding has been such a difficulty this year. Nothing like this has ever happened in the past,” said Karan Domer, head of Student Activities. “It makes sense now since treasury problems are stemming from the people who we give domain over the money in the first place.”
In response, Student Activities will completely dissolve the AUCC for the remainder of the year and run a pilot program to figure out what to do in the future.
“We feel that pilot programs are the answer to everything,” Domer said. “Through such programs we can see what works and what doesn’t. We can then alter the program to make it as perfect as possible before officially implementing the program.”
Clubs had varied reactions to the news.
One campus club president, who refused to be named because of the sensitivity of the subject, said she was devastated to hear the news.
“Now how are we supposed to get extra money for all-expenses-paid dates to Guapo’s?” she said. “Badmen used to give me some extra money in a plastic bag in a gallon of ice cream every month or so. He said it wasn’t fair how under-funded we were and he would personally help us out.”
Bethany Zadoa, the president of GoEnvironment! and a senior in the School of Communication Arts and Sciences, began to cry when she heard the news.
“I can’t believe they are finally getting rid of the whole corrupt system,” she said. “Now the school can focus on the real issues, such as how to minimize the use of water with low flush toilets.”
Badmen said he didn’t really care one way or the other.
“Hey, I did my best and earned some extra money along the way,” he said. “I never wanted to go to college, anyway. Surfing is my life goal. Australia, here I come!”