Bad news, faithful readers. This is going to be my last “Rusty Nail” for a whole month! Think of all the fun times that we will miss: finals, the holidays, and of course many opportunities to attack sororities on a random basis.
Actually, I’m pretty excited about the upcoming break. Christmas, er, “winter” break has been a consistently awesome time for me. First, the relief of finals being over is replaced with the materialistic splurge known as Christmas, or, depending on your persuasion, the materialistic yet gradual splurge of Hanukkah. Then there’s New Year’s, college football bowls and the NFL playoffs. There are plenty of opportunities to drink at any of these occasions without being labeled an alcoholic, which is always a plus. And, it’s all time spent with the people you’ve missed over the last semester. The best part is, once they’re sick of you, you get to go back to D.C. again!
What this means for all you “Rusty Nail” readers is that you are missing out on one of the few opportunities to read articles from a happy columnist. Instead, you’ll hear from me again at the beginning of next semester, which just happens to be the most depressing period of the calendar year. Then again, I assume people don’t read this column to get cheered up, or for some inspirational mantra, so maybe being a curmudgeon is for the best.
Until then, we only have the misery of term papers and finals. It makes me sad to walk around campus and have baggy eyes and full backpacks looking back at me. It seems like I am the only one who is happy. Unfortunately, this happiness is derived from my ability to procrastinate, so in a week I will be in some serious trouble. It’s almost time for me to buy a carton of cigarettes, a pound of ground coffee, and to put the wicked source of procastination, the Playstation2, away.
I mean, all I have to worry about are five finals and three 10-page papers due in three days. Why should I worry? No biggie, right?
In addition to finals misery, a new problem has arisen from the ashes of the fall semester. Now that I’m a junior, I now have to say goodbye to friends going abroad. I won’t get to see ‘em for a whole nine months. Nine months is a long time. So, I offer my pre-emptive good-bye to all the study-abroad kids leaving the country. I hope you all have a good time in Europe while I am stuck here, grounded to America’s liquor laws.
Well, that’s all I’ve got. I bid you “adieu” and happy holidays.