• I’m an asian girl and I’ll take the single white guys with yellow fever
• Вы будете моим Валентина?
• Woohoo! Today is Oregon’s birthday!
Oh and it’s also Valentine’s Day…
• Dating Advice of the Day: If you’re interested in a guy and you want to go out with you, Ask Him Out!
• My first ever Valentine’s Day with a boyfriend (LDR) and I don’t think we’re doing anything at all for it. Oh well.
• @Who is the guy that is 13 years older???? Hints!!! - Pretty sure he doesn’t even know that I exist. Hint: he’s not a student.
• @story of my life, honey. - So what do you do?
• @1. No
• @ 17 year old Freshman who thinks her RA has a crush on her - I KNOW AN RA WHO HAS A THING FOR A 17 YEAR OLD GIRL ON HIS FLOOR. Crahazzzy.
• Hey now, I ranted once about women-only gym hours—but only ONCE. Thanks for the PSA, but why don’t you take it and shove it up your butt?
• @“Stupid AU Liberals thinking the Confederate flag is racist.”
The confederate flag is actually the battle flag of confederate Virginia. The actual confederate flag looks much different, or what’s called the “Stars and Bars,” and closer to the American flag, but due to confusion on the battlefield that Confederate battle flag was used, but Stars and Bars probably wouldn’t have looked half as cool on The Dukes of Hazard’s hood. It’s adoption by the KKK and Neo-Nazi’s (oddly) does not help your case though.
• @“The guy next to me on the silent floor of the library keeps letting out these silent but completely noxious farts”
Here’s a novel (PUNS!) idea, how about moving away from Fartkenstein?
• For once, I don’t care that I’m single this Valentine’s Day (and every past one). I used to hate it until I realized it’s literally just another day of the year and there’s no reason to get worked up over it. And it’s a good excuse to eat candy hearts. They’re my kryptonite.
• I think I just got sexiled. Right after midnight on Valentine’s Day. How cliche is that?
• @“average straight white guys having yellow fever” if he’s jewish like me than yeah there’s a good possibly in the law of attraction it all depends on the variables of the person
• to the blonde girl who was on library 2nd floor at the big window area near the entrance and couch with mac laptop that had black shell…also wearing a burgandy-ish sweatshirt…i couldn’t tell if u were hinting or anything…if so, totally fine. signed the guy with big headphones that moved to the table from the couch to charge laptop with red gibraltar sticker on it. I did not intend to show any sort of immediate disinterest, but exams require studying
• Sorry if this is mean, but why are there so many overweight, hairy, bearded, awkward guys at AU?! seriously. So many. like theres one per class
• @As a man, I kind of wish neither my sexuality nor I were viewed of as a threat to society: You, sir, are dead on!
• Whoever wrote this: Finally someone gets it!- AU - the one place where people can accuse others of being racist because of who they’re not attracted to.
• @dying for some stress relieving sex- I second that.—When/where?
• To the girl who wrote this: Yes, yes it is. • I hooked up with a frat guy a few weeks ago. Just found out he’s dating a DG. Is it bad that I’m actually proud of myself for this??
• I never post on here, but I thought I’d give it a shot to see if you read Eagle rants and might catch this. I ran into you Monday night as we were both leaving the Avalon. We helped a girl carry inside a big package, and then introduced ourselves as we headed up Mass Ave toward AU. You seemed really sweet! =)
• I was in love with you for a year; you didn’t know. Suddenly, you said I made you feel special, and that I spoke to you like no other guy has spoken to you before. We’d cuddle, and look at the moon and the stars together, and share our dreams. And then we kissed. But soon, you decided that you’ve never had feelings for me.
• So uhm, you may or may not know this, but I’ve got it in my head that you ought to be my valentine. Whether or not you ask, I think you know I’d say yes. (You just don’t want me too.)
• I guess you both feel ‘rejected’ (one of you as a friend and the other as a lover) which is why you had a ‘bash-me party’ in the kitchen. Kudos for not recognizing my roommate from last year, and I hope you felt awkward/embarrassed for being caught. #imnotevenmad
• PS: I’m apparently some sort of super-influential-political-shifting guru, given the way you two talk. Your views are (or at least should be…) your own; it’s kind of sad if you attribute and/or blame everything on me. We’re all capable of independent thought, yes?
• @SG ranter: No, actually, I wasn’t involved at all. I really don’t understand why you have such a hard time believing that average students actually don’t like you. I read the Eagle, and I read the attachments to the emails you send out. So I like to be informed. Since when is that a crime? Oh right, since you make closed door deals that you don’t want your constituents to know the details of. Please leave office, all of you. You really should be ashamed of your comment.
• Silent but Violent farts are hilarious.
• I am officially boycotting the Dav. They are unconscionably slow and inefficient. On the surface they seem like a pretty chill, eclectic little coffee shop, but the fact that it is run entirely by students is obvious. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve either gotten to class late or just walked out without a drink after having paid because I’m going to be late. And I show up 20 minutes ahead of time, with barely a line. I have absolutely no idea why they’re so incompetent in getting customers out the door.
• @“the right to free speech means the government will not throw you in jail if you say something. the right to free speech DOES NOT mean you are protected from people telling you when you’re being an insensitive, triggering jerk.”
The right to free speech also means you are not to be castrated just because some feminist thinks you’re being sexist.
• The Army ROTC house knows how to throw down, just saying.
• Every morning around 7:55 you hot sweaty gorgeous army cadets rock my world.
• CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT?!?!
• Why would you say “Happy Valentines Day” to someone who is recently single, having an extremely difficult time with it, and obviously isn’t going to have a happy valentines day?
• Can all of the cute couples on campus please stop rubbing in the fact that today is Valentine’s Day? The PDA is beyond too much- it’s sickening.
• I have no more chips or chocolate. :(
• I hope everyone had a satisfying Valentine’s Day. If you didn’t, I hope that you will soon be able to make the changes you want to make. If you’re in a situation you can’t change, I hope you can stop wanting what someone can’t give you.
• Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
• “• It’s really hard to try to not remember how long it’s been since you’ve had sex when you have to constantly hear your neighbor have sex. “
Ask them to join? Lol
• My the sophomore TA for the other T/F Astronomy class is so hot!
• People talking bout being a trophy wife on Valentines Day- this is hilarious. Our teacher is befuddled.
• .... so I got more chocolate. maybe more chips soon to come.
[Editor’s Note: Treat Yo Self.]