• Conor Shapiro wrote about how great the Disability Support Office is. Clearly Conor is not an undergraduate honors student who has had to try to get up to the honors office on the second floor. Talk about being a second class citizen.
• I can’t believe that the Students for Life would call abortion genocide.
• People leaving MGC should STOP KICKING THE HANDICAP BUTTON!! If you must use the button clearly designed for the handicapped, at least don’t disturb the 15 people sitting in the corner lounge with your obnoxiously loud kicks.
• I need my degree to get a job, but I don’t think I want people to see “American University” on my book jackets.
• The worst thing about living on America’s #1 Most Politically Active Campus is listening to drunk Republicans rant about economics
• Wow, people must really love this orchestra director to have a protest to get him tenure. Great job, music students! Be proud of yourselves!!!
• Look out for a new and improved HUGE protest for Professor Berard. This could happen in your program - this could be YOUR professor. Don’t let this happen to you! Join our fight
• Crossword might be difficult but putting a word search in is very simple and people would totally do them. EDITOR’S NOTE: Not a bad idea. I do think we need some things for students to do. We’ll work on it.
• I would like to take this opportunity to point out that protesting right outside the building where I’m trying to learn stuff doesn’t make me want to support your cause. Strangely, this is true even when I hate the class I’m in.
• Reading Eagle Rants has made me realize I’m not the only one here that’s super lonely. I wish we could all find each other, we should have a code or something.
• Working at phonathon, I’ve learned people have some really freaky voicemails ... also, having your kids make your voicemail message is the most annoying thing ever. Let them try again when they’ve learned to speak like normal people.
• Are you serious? The Career Center is one of the few offices on campus I feel actually cares what I do with my life. Plus, they’re rarely late. Have you tried going to a doctor’s office recently? Now THAT is being late. And the front desk people are super helpful, and they have free candy.
• I’m not too sure how my roommate can tolerate it with the heat off.
• Dear girl obnoxiously singing opera, Not everybody on the floor wants to listen to you. Seriously SHUT UP! I can’t concentrate on my work because you’re so inconsiderate of others on your floor. If you really want to sing that badly, go to the practice rooms in Katzen. That’s what they’re there for. Thanks and have a wonderful evening.
• Dear 2nd floor library Snorer ... do I even need to finish this sentence?!?
• Why don’t we stop wasting money on WONK and help out the kids having trouble with financial aid? Two of my friends had to leave because financial aid couldn’t help them. Because of wonk? SO STUPID.
• To people who get irritated and roll their eyes when I geek out about politics in class: Get over yourselves. This is a government class in SPA at American University and I’m good at impressing the teacher. It is not my fault that I’m doing better at that than you.
• To those who continue to rant about 7:30 a.m. classes, let me remind you that they were created for those of us that live in the real world and don’t go to college just to party and sleep through 8:30 a.m. classes. Trust me, it would make my life 10 times better if I could take a 7:30 a.m. class than have to work 9-5 and go to an 8:10 p.m. class for 2.5 hours.
Upperclassman working in the real world
• To the late hours for SA advocate, every AU employee has other things to do other than dealing with students. They are all very flexible. Besides, there’s no point for them to work after 6 p.m. since every other office on campus (related to UC or SA) closes at 5 p.m.
• Someone needs to give Frida Kahlo a razor. Seriously.
• I’m staying on-campus over Thanksgiving! Which means I get to wonk out every day during the break. I’m gonna be wonking everywhere and wonking it so hard that I’ll be wonking the wonk as I talk the talk.
And that’s how I’ll be getting my two research papers done.
• They were called “A Voice 4 U.” Now I think we ought to rename them to “The SmithBusters.”
• Lousy band geeks? 1. We’re an orchestra and 2. We had BAGPIPES! Come on!
• “So the boys who ran for ANC tried to help out AU. Instead, we have two anti-AU people trying to fill the seats. Great job….”
First of all, Deon got elected.Second of all, we would have had a much greater chance had students actually come out to vote.It’s amazing how many apathetic voters there are even here, at American University…
• WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO EAT WITH THEIR MOUTHS OPEN?
• To the person who said, “Only bad teachers are denied tenure at AU. If you were as smart as our President you would know that.” YES EXACTLY! Don’t question anything the administration does. That’s a GREAT idea. Truly masterful. I’m truly relieved you’re already in the practice of licking other people’s boots so that when you get to the real world, you’ll be a PRO at it. Aces kid.
• I can’t believe the President refused to meet with the musicians who care about the school. No matter what the topic is, President’s door should always be open. No? Every AU student should be offended and take action. I thought Kerwin was the better one. What’s wrong with this school???
• SOC, are you kidding me? Only one walk-in hour a day and when I show up my adviser couldn’t be bothered to come in to work today? And when I finally do get a walk-in she can’t talk to me about my major because she says we only have ten minutes even though THERE IS NO ONE IN THE WAITING ROOM! I miss Erin. SOC pull yourself together, you are far too incompetent!
• Oh, crap. Do you guys know where the cougar rants, the board for the University of Houston students, is located at? kthnxbai.
• When has the AU admin ever listened to us students? It’s the same from last year’s housing policy change to denying tenure to a good professor, from adding 7:30 a.m. classes to spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on a “wonk” campaign. AU admin don’t give a crap about us once we’re students — they only give a crap about making prospies into new students.
• Why get rid of half of the Tavern’s old menu and replace it with salad if you NEVER HAVE ANY SALADS? Really?!?
• To the boy who got his wallet back last week: I turned in a wallet to public safety after re-running my Massachusetts Ave./Wisconsin Ave. route in hopes to find you, so thank YOU for making my ass run six miles instead of my usual three.
• I need me some sweet, sweet lovin’. Can anyone help a girl out?
• I’m sick of people coughing without covering their mouths.It’s really not that hard people. If your hands are full, then cough into your shoulder. I don’t want your germs. Please be considerate of those around you.
• Dear potential sex columnist,
• I’ll push the handicap button if I damn well please.
• Not everyone sitting alone at TDR is lonely. I sit alone at TDR so I can get my homework done.If you try to sit next to me, I will give you the death stare.
• I’m pretty sure there’s a raccoon stuck in the garbage can outside of McKinley…
• Does whoever invented Eagle Rants still go here? If so, will you marry me? You have to be the most loved person on this campus. EDITOR’S NOTE: This is he. And yes.
• While I enjoy the increased quantity of Eagle Rants in my life, I feel that the quality of rants has seriously decreased in the past month. I believe that some people may benefit from posting their useless ramblings on collegeacb.com.
Not that ya’ll should stop ranting, I think that if we filtered our rants we could increase interest and challenge ourselves to be more interesting in our Eagle enabled irritation. EDITOR’S NOTE: Fair point. Ranters of AU, what do you think?
• To Ranting Parent:
Anonymously mocking students in your child’s college’s newspaper? That midlife crisis must be kicking into high gear. Also, I thank you for paying for a good chunk of my scholarship! I can’t wait to pester you incessantly from the Phonathon to ask you for MORE money.
• Dearest AU;
I thank you kindly for fooling around with the Internet RIGHT when I need to check my e-mail account. Like, one moment I was able to open my e-mails, I saw an important e-mail from my professor, and then the next moment I couldn’t access it.
Thanks so much!
• Dear Orchestra Director,
You are not leaving this place. Ever.
You know who we are
• The boys’ basketball opener game was actually the most school spirit I’ve seen from AU all year. I love being able to unite and scream at the other team. Can we keep this up?
• I wish they threw more T-shirts out at the b-ball games. Or had people who knew how to throw far.
• I can’t think of a more deserving professor for tenure than Manny Berard ... I’m so sick of this school’s ugly bureaucratic side. STAND UP FOR WHAT’S YOU BELIEVE IS RIGHT AU!!!!!
• FIGHT THE POWER! Stay strong AU music!
• I’ve never understood why Bender Library doesn’t have 24/7 hours. Don’t most major universities have all-hours libraries? Oh wait - then people might actually spend time on Friday or Saturday nights doing what they pay $50,000 to come here and do: STUDY.
• Please end this injustice!!!!! SAVE MANNY BERARD.
• To those of the American University Symphony Orchestra and the other many supporters of Prof. Berard: I BELIEVE IN YOU. I think you are amazing people for what you are doing.
• Dear WVAU reviews,
Please don’t dumb yourselves down for the person who thinks you’re too high brow. If you can’t understand a well-put two sentence blurb about Deerhunter, you probably should stick with Taylor Swift.
• To all the students out there in support of Professor Berard.I applaud your efforts.But please understand, that I can’t support a cause that goes against another person who has earned my devout respect and admiration as a professor and choral director over the course of a semester, especially when the cause is for a professor who I’ve only really interacted with in passing and in large, combined rehearsals.
• Hey, Editor, if you have time to make comments on the rants, do you have time to make sure there aren’t errors? Seriously, the wrong “your/you’re” and 8:55 instead of 9:55?
Fail. Do your job.
• I’m seeing a nice boy, but I feel like I have to hide my inner Harry Potter nerd from him. I don’t know if he can handle me in a cape with a lightning bolt drawn on my forehead.
• Art is whatever you say art is. Yes, the Mona Lisa is art. Marcel Duchamp’s L.H.O.O.Q. is also art. Ellsworth Kelly painted “lines on a canvas.” That is also art. It is not lazy. Take a freaking modern art class.
• Where can I play soccer? Seriously I am dying inside. Are there any pick-up games or anything around campus? Please help me out.
Sincerely, A soccer player in withdrawal.
• Dear guy who walked me back to my dorm last Saturday,
Please understand something. I am shy. Not a tease….shy. Don’t cross me off you prospect list. I know how to have fun also. I just don’t always know how to put myself on the line and make the first move.
Sincerely, A girl who has been beating herself up over this for a week.
• I am in love with Disney music and the Phonathon is amazing for playing it!
• The University really didn’t think through these 7:30 a.m. classes. Will TDR have to change its hours? Will the library? Will every office, computer lab or desk on campus open at 7 a.m. now?
• Dear people who have been treating me differently since I decided to join a frat-
It is my life decision so tough it up. Sorry I found a group of guys who I enjoy spending time with as opposed to people who sit in their rooms every weekend and drink or smoke hookah.
A future pledge
• Seeing all of the rants regarding people being loud on the 2nd floor of the library actually makes me happy.I’m very glad to see students taking their education so seriously such that a non-work-environment-work-environment is cause for uprising. Good for you, library people — you’re raising our school’s academic standings with your indubitably high GPAs!
• I miss my cat. EDITOR’S NOTE: Amen.
• Cold weather for the win. Even though it’s not actually *cold* yet. Bring it, D.C., do your worst; I’m ready and eager for it.
• In response to the lonely hipster seeking a nice indie girl,
The real question is - where are all the fine indie MEN on campus?? There are a decent amount of pitchfork-reading, arthouse film-loving, chai tea-drinking, reasonably attractive hipster girls on campus. I know this because I’m one of them. I see them everywhere. but the number of cool, culturally aware indie guys on campus is negligible.
So, I would advise my lonely hipster comrade to turn off the Animal Collective and step out of the Dav, and I’m sure you’ll see a “cute indie girl” sooner than you can light up your clove cigarette. As for me, I’ll be going thrifting downtown ALONE because there are no hipster men on campus. Stop your complaining.
• I am very against procrastinating, yet somehow I’m looking at, what, seven papers of varying length due in or before early December?Eek.
• Really?Do you not have the time to reread your one sentence long Eagle Rant and make sure it’s grammatically correct?If someone from another college read these they might think AU to be an elementary school. :/
• I’m irritated by most of the religious posters/flyers etc. on the bulletin boards at AU.If such a poster is offensive, it comes down.Don’t like it? Have the big man smite me.BAHAHAHAHAH yeah like that’ll happen. Cuz he exists and all.Fairy tales, folks, fairy tales.