• I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of rants suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened…Lack of consistency. ಠ_ಠ
• WHY DOESNT FOX HAVE SOUND I WANT TO WATCH GLEE
• Vegan Guy - I think I talked to you at the American Vegan Outreach table on Wednesday! If you’re not that guy, well, some other vegan guy has also been vegan for 21 months haha. Anyway, I’ve only been vegan for seven months, and I haven’t done much cooking yet (though I want to), but I love baking! - Vegan Girl
• Person talking about mathcore, hardcore, etc: SO TRUE.
• She could get the boom.
• My roommate giggled like a schoolgirl watching those runway models fall down. Just letting you know that video was appreciated.
• Wow, have you lost weight?
• Hey guys, I heard the chem students here do it on the tables periodically.
• I am faster than 90% of all snakes.
• Wow, the flagrant hatefulness of EagleRants recently is really disheartening. I It makes me sad that we go to a school where people are so eager to viciously put one another down. I’m a longtime Rants reader, but it seems like just recently, everything being said is so hateful.
[Editor’s Note: What the rants need now/ Is love, sweet love/ It’s the only thing/ That there’s just, too little of]
• I dunno what you mean about “ironic Doc Martens”, but I have a real pair.
• Saw a girl wearing the Evenstar necklace today…had to resist the urge to run up and tell her I’ve got one too, only I left it at home.
• “@ “” Don’t hate on frat parties. They can be a great time for people who don’t have sticks up their ass.”“
Frat parties keep it classy by having lacrosse sticks up their asses. Makes for more interesting games of Beer Pong.”
• “Dear ““Looking for Socially Awkward Nerds,”“
Come to Leonard 5. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!”
• At first I thought that people disliked me because of my unattractiveness, but now I know that it’s because I’m unattractive and have a horrible personality. Yay!
• @ “everyone keeps talking about that coffee shop in SIS, but i still cant find it :(”
This is not possible unless you have some sort of audio or visual deficiency that doesn’t allow you to see or hear the line out the door of SIS for the Dav. Even if you were blind you would bump in to the ten or twelve supermodels getting their one size only iced coffee. And they still don’t carry Sweet N’ Low.
• Goodbye world.
• @Biddies can be guys too. Stop being sexist: Google the word “biddies”, every single definition that pops up specifically refers to biddies as a female-identified word. Yet another example of people ignoring the actual meaning of words when it suits them.
• @GOVT 105, GOVT 110, GOVT 130, and ANTH 215 are all gen eds: Yes they are, however, the GOVT classes are required if you are majoring in Political Science. ANTH 215 is NOT required if you are majoring in anthropology. Thus, the GOVT courses are examples of required courses, and Sex, Gender, & Culture is an example of an elective
• @Pine should be fired for making her TA take care of the baby: It’s obvious you didn’t actually read her Expose, which should in all honesty disqualify you from being allowed to have an opinion. If you did read it, you would know that Professor Pine specifically told the TA that she DIDN’T have to take care of the baby because it wasn’t her job. It was the TA who INSISTED on taking care of the child. Can people please learn what they’re talking about before they open their mouth?
• Eagle Rants Editor: can you please clarify what your policy on “inappropriate” language is? Because you let through a rant that called Professor Pine an “ass”. Are we allowed to swear in rants now?
[Editor’s Note: Usually I follow the same rules as daytime cable.]
• The event is called Phi Mu Big Man on Campus. Or BEEMOCK as they all call it (in a very chirpy annoying voice, btw.)
• Party Ranks: AXO/XO/PSS, Phi Mu/DG, AEPhi/SDT
Classy Ranks: DG/Phi Mu, XO/PSS, AEPhi/SDT/AXO
• I’m a Never-Nude. There are literally dozens of us!
• Hey, I’m the original I-don’t-look-like-the-typical-AU-girl ranter. You’re right, it’s absolutely wrong for me to say ALL girls at AU share a body type, or even most. BUT, it seems like I’m always seeing these really tan, pretty, fashionable girls. I’m normally a self confident person, but it can be difficult to keep that up all the time.
• To my roomie- Stop listening to your music so loud WITH YOUR EARPHONES ON and clean up your half of the room- not that hard!
• @“Where the hell are all of the socially awkward nerds at:” Anime society. 8pm Fridays in the first room on the second room of MGC. You can’t miss it.
• All I want is a relationship where the guy wants to have fun but be able to talk to each other about life in a meaningful way. I didn’t realize it was such a high standard.
• September 12th rants would be nice…
• DAV poster…. Does not taste like burnt rubber and its only a $1.50 for a large coffee. When ddid poor college kids stop being poor college kids. I know I don’t have the money for Starbucks every day (or every week really).
• I just want someone to date. Is that so much to ask? I mean apparently I’m decent looking…
• duck you rants editor, you’re a pushy.
you merely adopted the rants. i was BORN into them… #banevoice
• I NEED TO CUDDLE WITH SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!
• Sometimes Eagle Rants are so good I just want to roll around in them
• since when did eagle rants become the next college ACB? what happened to witty people posting funny things? am i the only one left
• I’ll See You When I See You.
• Yo, can we have a reddit meet up day?? Who’s in?
• Breastfeed, whatever. But you can’t bring your kid to work—totally unprofessional.
• Im so glad im a guy here at AU . so many hot girls
• I miss the sex.
• I can not respect the eagle. It is a sad excuse for
a paper. out of all the things not to be proud of at AU, the eagle is number one.
• A haiku about my 8:55 tomorrow:
No no no no no,
No no no no no no no,
No no no no no.
• Ive had a crush on you since I read your profile waaay back on AULink the summer before freshman year. Then you dated a girl I knew. You guys are broken up now but I don’t know how to begin to tell you how I feel. Especially since we haven’t talked since getting back from summer break :|
• ....you posted my rant about giving a social conservative a rim job but you’re not gonna post my rant praising the incredible candle light vigil we held? WTF
[Editor’s Note: If it didn’t have expletives in it than chances are it was deleted for being >100 words long.]
• That awkward moment your roommate tells you that his boyfriend broke up with him, and although you don’t mind comforting him, all you want to do is f**k his…yeah…
• They need to le tus know what were the consequences (punishent) for Ms. Pine’s behavior. I don’t see how she can get away with treaing studens the way she did. She is a third ratie teacher!
• I masturbate myself to the sound of my neighbor having sex with her boyfriend…
• No one is Alpha at AU. Also, I am a fetish wonk.
• @ironic doc martins, combat boots are on trend, moron.
• Spin the bottle is a weekly freshman orgy.
• @ rank the sorority 1-7 all of them
DG, ChiO, AChiO, Phi Sig Sig
And down at the bottom of the list, Phi Mu, AEPhi, STD
• Editor, stop adding your unneeded comments on so many rants. They are not amusing.
[Editor’s Note: No]
• I am so sick of this breastfeeding thing. She was within her rights to do so, people need to get over the fact that women have to make difficult decisions sometimes.
• Everyone keeps asking me to go to my hayride…apparently it’s awesome?
• What do I do in my free time?
• Someone stole my fucking razor handle…
• I’ll give you a massage!! I give awesome ones!!
^that was to the soccer guy
• Let’s go eat, HUH?
• All my professors have been really irritated with us lately…
• @ranter who used there instead of their: you are an idiot. And ranter who used here instead of hear, you are also an idiot.
• @confused rangers who think AU students are mad at Pine for breastfeeding: We don’t have a problem with the breastfeeding Babies need to be fed an the law says wherever a baby is allowed to be, the baby is aloud to be breastfed there.
The problem we have with Pine was her slander of AU students in her online posting. Now stop making AU students look intolerant of breastfeeding
• Dear IT, people use torrents for reasons other than copyright infringement. How am I supposed to get the open source software I need if you block me from using their download torrent?
• Silly freshman, Greek shirts are for bros
• I could play QB better than Jay Cutler! Way to go Bears, way to ruin one of the only games I’ll be able to watch in DC!
• ok to clarify, college is not about spin the bottle. spin the bottle is a game people played in middle school when they were too scared to actually just hook up with someone. please stop being excited about it, it should be old news to you guys.
• oh, the problems of college students. y’all are too cute for words. having flashbacks to my years at AU.
• You know what’s wonderful? Having your own copy of The Room. Forever. Also, Chris R. probably was the best actor in the movie and was only in for five minutes. XD
• When it says that the AU study abroad grants (specifically the mobility award) could “potentially impact your financial aid package” what does that mean? I don’t want to lose my finaid package and I feel like this school would take any excuse to take my scholarship away from me.
• @“Don’t hate on frat parties. They can be a great time for people who don’t have sticks up their ass.” It’s people like you that almost convinced me to stay as a GDI. Unfortunately there are so many sticks shoved so far up that there’s almost no hope =/
• I would be excited about it being the weekend, but I’m sick and I have an unbelievable amount of homework. Love ya AU
• Stop giving the rant editor so much flack. I love reading rants as much as the next person, but they have a life and schoolwork too. Ease up people, this place is getting salty.
[Editor’s Note: THIS.]
• @“What’s with the recent “ironic Doc Martins” trend? I feel like the only real skin on this campus.”: Ironically you can’t spell Marten correctly.
• Me, I got crew, kid. Seven and a crescent!
• The most frustrating result of the the whole Breastfeeding controversy is how much polarized people are. There doesn’t have to be a wrong and a right. Professor Pine did some unprofessional things, the Eagle could have handled it better, but no one is wholly at fault or wholly evil here. It’s really sad that over something like this people are accusing either side of not “having souls” or being “childish, self-centered asses”. People are people, people—get over it.
• “I just want someone who I can talk to…
I want you just the way you are.”
• As a Kpop fan… I’m really not sure how I feel about the popularity of Gangnam Style. I mean I love the song and PSY… but >.> I dunno. But hey if in some weird way it increases the popularity of the Korean Language and AU starts having higher levels then elementary, I’ll be happy >.<
• This website feels stuck somewhere between incompetence and 2004.
• Hey Sergio!!! Get us out of here before we all die
• I am not voting for Obama, but it is not for anything I have heard on Fox News (which really only has one decent reporter to begin with) its for many other reasons
• You're a boy..you obviously liked me…please stop being a jerk and knock on my door..with love from the girl who you should like xoxoxo kiss my ass
• @ "Im not the OP but GOVT 105, GOVT 110, GOVT 130, and ANTH 215 are all gen eds." ANTH 215 is a major requirement for WGSS majors as well.
• rant editor even though you forgot to post rants, everyone at the Phonathon forgives you. (just don't miss another day or we might go insane)
• I feel as though every single college student complains about something, even when we really have many gifts
• people here drink…. wtf
• You know what pisses me off? When I'm about to win an Ebay auction for an amazing price, and someone asswipe SWOOPS IN and snipes me. F**k you bidder 2***2; that was my $2 video game.
• FIRE THE NEW RANTS EDITOR!!! BURN HIM/HER AT THE STAKE!!!