• Can someone make the SIS elevators a little less completely ridiculous? It’s hard for an electric box with a door to be dumb, but they do it.
• So stoked to have a cool roommate next semester. You know who you are.
• I am so sick of hearing about tenure being denied to the orchestra professor. Quit your complaining, there is obviously a reason he didn’t get it. And if the reason is because AU’s priorities don’t lie within the performing arts, than so be it.
• I saw a student tearing down posters (that were posted on general posting boards) with the Palestinian flag on it and I am completely disgusted. I don’t care how you feel about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. You should at least respect those who have a different opinion than you.
• I don’t understand why you spend your time talking to me/stalking me on Facebook or texting/calling me when you have a perfectly good girlfriend at home. Probably waiting for you. Not sure if it’s just because we’re friends or if it’s because you and I both know I’ve been Great Gatsby pining for you for quite some time. Either way, please stop with all the mixed signals, they’re making me dizzy…
• My boss assigned me to read Eagle Rants to “see what the students *really* think of us” this means:
I get paid to read eagle rants.
EDITOR’S NOTE: You’re welcome.
• I miss my twin sister, a lot.
• Dear library-goers,
The second floor of the library is the quiet floor! This doesn’t mean “Oh, I’ll be quiet until I decide to have a conversation with my friend.” This floor exists for a reason. BE QUIET or go upstairs!
The girl who lives in the library
• 6:27 on a Thursday and there are no new Eagle Rants!! What is going on! I thought new Eagle Rants come out on Mondays and Thursdays! It is now 6:28 that means there have been over 18 hours for the new Eagle Rants to be posted! Come on, editors! You must feed my Eagle Rant addiction in a timely manner!!!!
• To the girl who kicked through the pile of leaves outside of Hurst the other day: I live vicariously through you
• There should be a link on each Rants page to the previous week’s rants page, in case I miss last week’s rants. (Blasphemy, am I right?)
• Boy it would be nice to see an Eagle Editorial calling for transparency in the TENURE PROCESS!!!!!
• I know it’s probably really really confusing on the weekends for you, kid, but see if you can try not to vomit in the dryer this time while my clothes are in there (Letts 6 resident). Also don’t pee all over the floor like a scumbag.
• Agreed. Please change the comment system back to the way it was. Requiring an email address has killed the readership and commentship of the newspaper.
EDITOR’S NOTE: No. If requiring people to prove that they’re real people is killing comments, then so be it. Under the old system one person could comment 100 times as 100 different people and no one would know.
• AU definitely needs a dating site. Why is this so hard? I have been suggesting it for years. And apparently so have other people. It can be like match.com but for AU students only. Please Eagle! I need a boyfriend so badly I’m about to start humping my teddy bear.
• Apparently I don’t have any social skills. Is there a how-to book I can read to fix this?
• Hi, I’m a hipster. I’m really cool. Much cooler than you. I wish there were other hipsters here that I could be friends with. But even if there were, they are probably just posers. No one else is a REAL hipster like me. I’m special and unique. And I go “thrifting” because I’m cool like that. Wanna be my friend? Sorry, you aren’t hipster enough. And if you are, I’m a cooler hipster and I never liked you anyway.
• “As if defining the relationship weren’t hard enough, try finding the appropriate context to bring it up. *sigh*” TWINS.
• You don’t have Garrison CARR anymore stop shooting three pointers and actually go to the hoop!!!!! AU BASKETBALL please blow a team out and stop playing down to the competition.
-A BASKETBALL FAN
• If AU thinks that it’s such a green school, why can’t we have free-range turkeys on campus during the week before Thanksgiving? Anyone else up for hunting down their Thanksgiving dinner?
• Dear person who complained about me for asking WVAU to be a little more inclusive in their music reviews:
Why does me wanting to listen to different and more music make you so angry? Take a deeeeep breath and try not to be a pretentious a-hole to people who are just curious.
• The AUCC gets defensive when you ask for transparency…
• The anti-WVAU rant made me sick. I’m a DJ and I’ve found that, basically, the only quality people on this campus are involved with the radio. So I really couldn’t care less about the kids who hate on us, because I would never in a million years want anything to do with you anyway.
Have a nice life,
• Why can’t we get information from the AUCC on how much clubs apply for and why clubs are granted x amount of dollars?
• I would really like to hook up with a hot gay soccer player or cross country guy. Perhaps there is one at AU?
• @An apparently loud chewer
But being passive aggressive is so much fun!
• Baby you’re not the only one. You don’t have to be afraid to fall in love and I know that you’ve hurt in the past but if you want it here’s my heart, no strings attached.
• I cried when Dobby died. I’m not ashamed.
• Dear people complaining that we scream in our lounge,
We are a forceful and opinionated group, and make no apologies for it. If you really want to go to bed at 9 o’clock, don’t force everyone else to adjust to your bizarre schedule. You are not the center of the universe. This is a college campus, there is going to be noise. Get a pair of earplugs.
• Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow. Please…
• I really want a boyfriend to cuddle me when it gets cold outside. AU dating site please!
• It figures that after I move off campus the gym would alter their hours to be open until midnight. Something I had been writing comments for them to do for the past 3 years. Grrr
• Why does my ideal art school not offer graduate programs? Boooo.
• Stop having phone sex while I’m in the room. Please?
• Dear whoever came up with the idea of having an electric car on campus as a symbol of our sustainability:
Electric cars do not necessarily save energy. They only displace the burning of fossil fuels. Instead of burning oil, we are burning coal. I love AU’s green initiative, but let’s make sure we’re making real progress, not using marketing band-aids.
• Who likes cuddling? I like cuddling!