• If you and your harem block the goddamn sidewalk one more goddamn time, I'm pushing you aside so that (somewhat) polite people can use it.
• Some people should never be allowed to be drunk. period.
• Professor, try sitting through one of your own lectures without wanting to go onto Facebook.
• Dunkin' Donuts all the way!
• Why is dating so difficult in college? Are we or aren't we into each other? Ughh!
• To the person who said no one here is creative: check out an AmLit meeting in the future!
• To that jerk who turned up the music in TDR,
If I wanted to have to shout to be heard while I'm eating, I’d bring a sandwich to a club. If I wanted to have my eardrums bleed at dinner, I'd bring my own headphones and blast the bass into my brain. Don't get angry when someone gets up and turns the music down-if she hadn't done it, I would have.
Plus, you're clearly a Connecticut yuppie that reeks of Abercrombie and Fitch. You’re not from the hood, so stop trying to pretend you are. Thanks. <3
• To the ranter who addressed the Girls of AU:
It is exactly that mindset that makes us all the same. And it's so wrong. Well done.
• No soap in the TDR bathroom = Ultimate eating-establishment, flu-season FAIL!
• The Career Center sucks worse than the Eagle. The staff is always late for appointments, the front desk person has no clue what they're doing, and they just seem to shrug.
• To the person complaining about the Orchestra Director, only bad teachers are denied tenure at AU. If you were as smart as our President you would know that.
• Where are all the heterosexual, cute, sensitive, literary types? I'm so tired of all these frat boy, egotistical, oversexed trollers. I just want to cuddle and read with you, dammit!
• C'mon, Eagle, don't you know the difference between an apostrophe and a quotation mark? A year abbreviation has an apostrophe: e.g., ’09, not a quotation mark: ‘09. Don’t let Microsoft Word’s auto formatting do all the thinking for you.
EDITOR’S NOTE: I’m alarmed and flattered that you care.
• "Theater kids in Katzen are so loud. Is that really necessary?" Why yes, yes it is. Especially when AU gives us one space to use and we are forced into the hallways for every rehearsal or a student production or scene for class. Don't like it? Don't work in Katzen. Performing arts students got the short end of the stick here, so stop bitching and go revel in your SIS glory.
• Dear annoying girl in my class,
You don't make any interesting points, your voice is piercing to my ears and everything you say is unoriginal — stop dominating class time please because you look and sound like an idiot!
- annoyed morning person.
• Dear “Annoyed Athlete,”
You're right, the third floor is the courtesy floor. That implies that you act courteously. That's different from how you all normally act up there.
Everyone Else On Campus.
• Dear jerk who has a problem with me using the handicap button when I’m not handicap: Is my pushing the handicap button harming handicap people? No. Is it doing any harm to anyone or anything? No. If it’s quicker for me to push the button, I'm going to push the button. Stop being a totalitarian jerk.
• I'm so lonely. I wish someone would hug me.
• I love AU! There are so many fun activities every day to take part in! And there is free food everywhere! GO AU!
• You unfathomable moron: the U.S. Postal Service is a system explicitly established by the Constitution. Jesus Christ, I wish you learned something at AU.
• Prof. Berard didn't get tenure after all the time, effort and passion he has put into the orchestra to make it the best it has ever been. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?!?
• I thought AU was a "liberal arts" school. If so, why is it not standing up for the "arts" part of that title by giving our talented and dedicated orchestra director tenure? I guess we'll go back to the days when the orchestra sounded like poop.
• Orchestra Director didn't make tenure, 98 student letters to Dean and Provost did nothing except garner cold rude responses saying its not their problem. Well guess what, it is your problem! It’s our tuition, WE are paying the money, WE should pick our teachers! If there is overwhelming support for the best musical director at AU to stay at AU, the administration should listen! Stand up for your rights AU!
• I really wish we could stay in SIS all night. Let the doors lock, sure (that keeps things selective and ELITE - SUP). But let us stay inside, too, at least. PuhLEEEZE.
• I just lost the game. So did you.
• Person who put up posters hating on AU: Please leave. You obviously hate it here and you're making the rest of us look bad. Sure, the shuttle had a major fail — it happens. I'm sure it was your own incompetencies that got you here so stop complaining about AU. Let me know when you've transferred and best of luck!
• To the pair of Americas I've seen wandering around and sitting on both sides of a person in silence - you are amazing.
• The editor's notes are one of my favorite parts, besides the funny rants that aren't about phonathon or Letts 3/5/6.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Much appreciated. My butterfly feelings were hurt by that rant.
• Oh hey there,
If you're going to talk all night instead of study, why not go into the LOUNGE, not the study room. Maybe next time you're trying to sleep, I'll start loudly yakking outside your room. STFU!
• I love WVAU with my entire being.
• Our rent is too damn high!
• Why does AU waste all of this money on computer labs in Hurst, and then doesn't let anyone use them?
• SAVE PROFESSOR MANUEL BERARD. HE DESERVES TENURE!!!!!
• Between the rats on campus and the gnats in TDR, I'm beginning to feel like I go to school in a garbage dump.
• Phonathon is by far the best and most fun job I've ever had. So all the haters [CENSORED]
• I think some crosswords on the Eagle would be fantastic!! Let's do this!
EDITOR’S NOTE: Designing them is soo hard. We tried. Anyone want to take a crack at it for us?
• To the person whose apartment is freezing. Please bring some of the coldness to campus! I'd rather be cold than dying of heat stroke any day!
• EAGLE RAVES 4EVA!!!
except its a lot easier to think of things I want to complain about than things I'm happy about but I'm willing to give it a shot:
I'm a huge fan of ...... nope I got nothing!! Sorry.
• Want to know why Letts isn't in one of the top spots for the energy conservation contest? It’s because all these people from the Anderson bridge keep using electricity from out bathrooms!
• Am I the only one who thinks Editor's Notes are humorous?
• As a freshman who missed Welcome Week...what the hell is a wonk?
• Dear AU on-campus dormers who rant,
Thanks for making me feel better about having to waste an hour and a half everyday commuting.
A student who lives at home.
• I hate when I go to a speaker and the people in charge tell me to move seats and sit in the front. Maybe I LIKE sitting in the back. Stop trying to control me!
• I have not had a boyfriend in ages and I don't hook up in any manner. I have "needs" though. I am here happily watching Disney movies in bed with a beer and my snuggie on a weekend night. How do these two statements co-exist I tell you!!!
• If you see someone visibly distressed offering words of comfort ( i.e. jokes and the like) or even better give them a hug. It really does wonders.
• AU needs to have a cuddle party like the ones advertised on cuddleparty.com. I want a boyfriend to cuddle me, but I don’t want to have sex. Not many guys are up for that arrangement. Hence, the cuddle party solution.
• I'm so lonely that sometimes I talk to my food. This can’t be healthy...
• I really wish AU wouldn't rake up the leaves and instead Student Government could host an event where they put all the leaves in a big pile and then students come in jump in them.
• Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.
• I could really use a wish right now.
• I'm scared I'm losing it. I’m scared I'm slipping away.
• Dear roommate,
Opening the door FIVE MINUTES after you've acknowledged a text that you've been sexiled is REALLY not okay.
• If you're going to try to pick up a girl at the library, at least make it cute and help her pick out a book from a particularly tall shelf. Not while everyone is sitting around trying to do homework.
• Do people here not have manners? My roommate never chews with her mouth shut and it's driving me crazy!! Seriously, grow up.
• I'm so glad I’m never going to be in a sorority. Forced friends? No!
• Well I definitely freed my inner Weezy this weekend.
• Who says AU doesn't have that many straight men? We do.
• I am unmotivated and therefore unhappy even though AU is a great place. If I can't do well here, where I’m most happy, where can I succeed?
• To the person who said this “Girls of AU: We all look, act and dress the same. We are not special.” LMAO.... speak for yourself please. I look, act and dress better than the majority of girls here. So please direct your comment to yourself and the girl you’re mad at.
• At least I didn't end up in Virginia again this weekend.
• The price tag on this school is around $50k. I am paying $0. I still think I should have went to Chapel Hill.
• Everyone in my class, I hate you. The class sucks but you make it worse by arguing with the teacher for no reason. !#@!#@ girl who sits in front of me you are 1@#!@# sit somewhere else and put a sock in it!!!! I hate you!!!