• Number two on the basketball team… probably a douche bag but he is nice to look at.
• Is the Women and Politics Institute doing anything anymore? Last year they had so many great speakers, now it’s like nothing is happening.
• Really? You actually want your own Weight Watchers program associated with AU? Staff get that treatment because they are staff as they should be a distinction between faculty and student. There’s no secret anyway, eat moderately and work out. Screw the rest
• WHY WASN’T I A LIT MAJOR?!?!?!?! SIS MAKES ME WANT TO STAB SMALL CHILDREN.
• I’M CALLING FOR A COUPLE OF REASONS!!!!!!!!
• This Mike Mayer blog isn’t half bad.
• 1. wake up
2. class all day and other housekeeping items
4. gym meetings
5. dinner hw
6. night TV
• Yo! AU Rugby kicked Navy’s ass last week! That’s pretty bad ass. Also a bit unpatriotic.
• I just want to cry for no reason. I want something to happen to me. Monotony you suck.
• It’s really rude when your professor is talking and to my left and right all I see is fellow students on Facebook on their laptop. It will be ok, Facebook is not going anywhere. Absorb the material. Take advantage of getting an education. Break yourself free from the technology addiction.
• Though I hate to add to this seemingly negative forum, I lament that my roommate is hateful and judgmental. I think that’s the worst kind of human being. Being a very compassionate individual, I can’t find it within me to sympathize when this person is alone on weekends.
• Bring in Weight Watchers!!
Bring in Weight Watchers!!
• Pike pledges. TDR is not a dance club. No, you may not turn the music all the way up during dinner. It is not funny and does not make you cool. You are douches. Also, side note, normal people can get friends WITHOUT shaving their heads.
• To the writer of the article about the movie “Ghost Writer”: did you READ the first sentence of your article? Ok, did you then realize that other people would read it too? That you even considered having that sentence out in the world for general consumption leaves me perplexed, but that an editor of any kind actually let it get published…just…what??
• Dear Charlie:
We’re sorry your BF is retiring form politics.
Love your fans
EDITOR’S NOTE: Who retired? Who is my BF?
• Wow, who knew that L7 was filled with a bunch of drunk tools.
• To the IT support at AU: FAIL. Today I along with at least 10 other Mac users get a message from Cisco saying there is a virus (Which no one actually had). We are instructed to download an anti virus for our Macs online (Which we are blocked from) - it is also outdated by 2 years. We are then instructed to call the IT support where no one is for most of the day or email them (while still without internet access). Story Short - CISCO FAILS, and I still don’t have my Internet on my own computer.
• OIT cut off my Internet access for a week, during which time my computer was wiped and locked away in their office. Six hours after they restored my Internet access, they shut it off again for “suspicious activity indicative of a bot”. Ten unanswered phone calls later, I get an e-mail asking me to fill out a customer satisfaction survey. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH YES, I will fill out your survey.
• March is Women’s History Month. We have a Women and Politics Institute. Why aren’t they doing anything?
• Can you imagine a reporting dream team? Charlie, Mitch Ellmauer and Alex Knepper. Wow. They could do for the Eagle what Lumpkins, Vlad, and Munous have done for the Eagles.
• I don’t get all of the Canadian hate. Canadians are like Puerto Ricans, or Samoans, or Virgin Islanders, they’re part of the American Sphere of Influence and are just like us, just not yet part of the United States.
• Andy not running for re-election? That’s about as surprising as David Paterson not running for re-election. When you’re incompetent and you have failed in every single thing you’ve promised you don’t run for re-election. (Unless your last name rhymes with Mush and your VP’s rhymes with Haney.)
• 50+ comments on Eagle Rants arguing about Canada: proof that AU students take themselves too seriously. Let’s all calm down and split a case of Labatt Blue, ok?
• Dear Roomie: College is a place for getting out and trying new things. I HATE coming back on Friday nights and seeing you sitting alone, in the dark, on your laptop ... it freaks me out and makes me want to stay away from our room.
• The guy who gives blowjobs in the arboretum must be happy it’s almost spring.
• People here either don’t know how to let loose without getting drunk or are weird shut-ins ... Where are all the non-drinker, non-smoker, funny, chill people at???
• I am an 18-year-old, decent looking, nice girl. I have never been kissed. This isn’t good. I am worried.
• Why have I encountered so many white males with a superiority complex at this school?
• WANTED: Tall, enthusiastic about anything, easy-going, funny, attractive, confident, likes musical guys, intelligent, and most importantly, has a smile that spans the length of Katzen Arts Center.
• WANTED: Tall, skinny, attractive, athletic ginger that likes community service and partying. Inquire within.
• Dear theatre people who live above us in the Berks:
PLEASE. SHUT. UP. Or else invest in soundproof carpeting.
• Oh, hey, you typing on your computer’s keyboard sounds like a herd of tiny, distracting Clydesdales stampeding across a Dell Brand wooden floor. Stop using it in class please?
• When am I ever gonna get a boyfriend???????????
• Dear my friends,
For those of you who have stayed my friends this semester, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. For those of you who have been slightly annoying and sometimes act like you don’t know me, you’re really annoying, and I wish we were still friends. K Thanks.
• Stop inviting me to become a fan of The Roosevelt Institute on Facebook! Seriously, one would think that denying your request 8 or 9 times would be enough for you to get the hint, but apparently I have to resort to eagle-ranting about it.
• My roommate and I get along pretty well, except for the fact that she has this really annoying boyfriend. He’s actually gotten better though!!!
• Why is there never any ginger ale in the fucking vending machines? I just want a fucking ginger ale. I have never met anyone else who drinks ginger ale. WHO IS DRINKING ALL MY GINGER ALE?
• I’m sorry but this Eagle isn’t soaring anytime soon.
• You call yourself a free spirit yet you look down on anyone who does drugs, has sex, is cooler than you…
look up free spirit, bitch.
• I found a fly crawling out of my tuna fish today at TDR. He was moving so slowly that I don’t know if it was because he was stuck underneath the tuna fish for so long, or if it was because he was so full. If it was the latter, then I think we all have something in common with that fly.
I killed it anyway, though. I mean, that’s gross.
• There are countless flavors and types of sodas, juices and waters sold on campus - but why is there so little milk? This dairy-loving Midwesterner would be thrilled having more choices beyond the not very portable gallons and half gallons available at the Eagle’s Nest.
• I think someone should donate rain boots to the guy in the arboretum. Or at least kneepads. It’s all kinds of muddy out there and lord knows he’s still servicing the public.
• Dear Loud Girl,
I thought I was rid of your awful voice once you moved off of my floor. How wrong could I be! While I understand it was the weekend, I did not appreciate being woken up by your piercing screams for attention in the hallway. If it had not been for the shock of finding myself suddenly awake at 3:30 a.m., I would have gotten out of bed and politely asked you to shut the hell up. Could you be any more annoying? Seriously.
P.S. You still smell.
• I found Sergeant Maurer’s dog tags.
• The Eagle has gone from a 2/10 to a 4/10 over the past year. I would say about 1.3 of this is due to Eagle Rants and its comments.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Literally one of the nicest compliments we’ve gotten in a long time! Thanks secret admirer.
• So as an awkward, tall white boy ... why aren’t all these girls hitting on me? Or can I just not tell because of the whole awkward part.
• Who ever made the Weight Watchers comment - I totally sympathize!!! I see great things in Today@AU for a free fitness or nutrition program, and alas - it’s just for faculty. Come on, WE’RE the people that actually LIVE here. They’re REAL people in the REAL world.
• I pity all of you who are wasting energy making petty anti-Canadian or anti-American comments. Just shut the hell up please and save the rants for things that people who aren’t you (with your dumb opinions) will be amused by. K thx bye.
• WOW. To all you touchy people on the third floor:
1) I live on the 3rd floor too.
2) I take the stairs up & down 98 percent of the time.
3) I can understand if you take the stairs up. I didn’t say anything about that. Sometimes on a rough day, I will too.
4)It’s not just about you adding time to someone else’s elevator ride or WAIT. It’s about you being a dick and also wasting a ton of energy that doesn’t need to be wasted.
5) Don’t even tell me about people who have problems that aren’t visible. I understand. I’m okay with people using the elevator if there’s a REASON. But if you’re taking it because you’re just some dumb biddy who can’t walk down the stairs because anyone a step below you would be able to see your [EDITED FOR OBSCENITY] (which is an overstatement.) on your way to Guapo’s, well ... I don’t even need to finish this.
• I hate that the eagle rants aren’t edited anymore. Five rants about the elevator? Come on!
• I have a tall, awkward white boy of my own!
• All I want to do is fuck you, and now I find out that you now have a a GIRLFRIEND. YOU. Have a GIRLFRIEND. YOU!! Of all people!! I hope you realize that this doesn’t mean our sexual tension is going anywhere…
• God I need to find a new place to masturbate on campus.
• To people complaining about their roommates in Eagle Rants:
From experience being a shitty roommate, SPEAK UP if you don’t like something your roommate does! Leaves their shit everywhere? Ask them to move it! Won’t shut up? Tell them you’re studying! They’ll probably be responsive. Plus, dwelling on it just makes things way, way worse. Besides how can we become better people if no one tells us what we need to change?
A (hopefully) much-improved roommate
• Congrats to the AU Symphony on a job spectacularly done this weekend…(I LOVE BEETHOVEN!)... though I wish that more students would show up to their shows. It’s a $5 ticket, guys. Come on.
• Canada kicked America’s ass!!!!
• Sometimes I really hate being a Libertarian. It sucks knowing that just about everyone around you wants you dead.
• To the girl who drunkenly entered my room at 2 a.m., Sunday:
You totally made my night. The best part was when, after looking around the room for awhile, you said “Take me away from this place!” Please stop by again, but maybe knock next time ... my roommate was terrified.
• While I’m not a part of greek life, I have nothing against it. But could you people please TRY talking about another subject? Franky, it gets old.
• I kissed a girl and I liked it.