• Yes! Finally, a fellow Murakami enthusiast! Okay, my absolute favorite is Kafka on the Shore, followed by The WInd-Up Bird Chronicle, and then Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World. I’ve been trying to convince people I know to read Murakami for ages, just so I have someone to discuss the novels with, but no one that I know ever has. This is so exciting!
• Gave a social republican his first rim job…cuz he asked for it. #conservativesgettingliberalinbed
• The one thing about AU that I’ve grown to disgust is the overwhelming and melodramatic self-pity of the student body. Really, if you’re at this college, you’re not as badly off as you think you are. In the real world, there are plenty of people who are legitimately starving and many more who don’t even complain about it. Get over your sense of entitlement.
• @dealing with emotional abuse for 20 years and thinking it was normal: Reading your rant really touched me. I was in the same situation when I came to AU. I found it so weird that some students had mothers who actually wanted to call them, visit them, and send them packages. It’s taken a few years to work through my issues with being emotionally abused, and I know I have a long way to go still, but the counseling center has really helped me and I hope you will consider going. Good luck!
• I like how there were no editors notes for simple questions that were ranted asking the editor about basic school policies. Are editor’s notes no longer?
• @”Would you want a reporter who makes your paper look bad?” Um The eagle reporter did nothing at all to make the paper look bad. She is the ideal kind of reporter any newspaper would want. She followed the lead to a story, politely asked questions, and forwarded relevant information to her supervisors. Adrienne Pine is the one who looks bad in this situation. She threw a temper tantrum online that made her look like a whiny, pretentious, flat out cruel person who is annoyed to answer questions from anyone she deems less worthy than herself.
• Does AU have a sailing club?
• I had a dream I cheated on my boyfriend. I would never cheat. But in my dream it felt so realistic and I actually enjoyed it. What is wrong with me
• I would hire Heather as my lead investigative journalist any day. She handles things like a pro. Polite the whole time, even when Adrienne Pine was dissing her, making passive aggressive remarks at her, and calling her names. Pine needs to be fired asap. AU is too good a school to have adult babies throwing online temper tantrums. The fact that she ever thought she would get tenure in the first place is laughable. She needs a serious attitude adjustment.
• You may think you know me, but you have no idea.
• I’m going to bite on this date rape bait. Here’s a question I’ve never understood: If I (a woman) get drunk and “decide” to drive a car, and then cause a fatal accident, the law says that I’m responsible because I should know not to drive drunk. But, if I “decide” to have sex, I’m not responsible because I was under the influence. How can this be fair? I’m legitimately open for a discussion; I’d love to hear what you all have to say.
• “But you didn’t” by Merrill Glass is a heart wrenching poem.
• @Actually ‘sex, gender, and culture’ is a gen ed: yea its a gen ed, but there are over a dozen other classes you can take for that credit. Thus it is elective, as it is not required. If you honestly believe those things about Professor Pine, then you obviously didn’t read the article. When you are a journalist, you put your name out in public. When you commit horrible journalistic practices, don’t go complaining that your name got published, that’s one of the pratfalls of working in the public eye. Deal with it and move one
• AU is sexist, and the responses to Professor Pine prove it. Yea, we’re such an “accepting” community, until the moment when someone does something that makes us uncomfortable, then all acceptance goes out the window. At least other people admit they’re sexist, instead of claiming to be pro-equality in theory and being discriminatory in practice.
• Song of the week: The Heavy - What Makes A Good Man?
• @“straight single AU guys…comparative advantage”: we’re here and we’re looking, but we may be uncomfortable approaching a particular girl when she is surrounded by a group of other girls…give us a sign.
• @ Times passes relentlessly, endlessly.
Time, Dr. Freeman? Is it really that time again? It seems as if you only just arrived. You’ve done a great deal in a small time span. You’ve done so well, in fact, that I’ve received some interesting offers for your services.
• Where is this article about Ms. Pine??
• @girl who’s doubting her appearance: I for one don’t particularly care for the “sorority-or-vegan-ballerina-girl” body type, I’m sure you look great. Keep doing what you do
a straight (and single) guy
• We’re really not going to start a rant war about Alex Knepper’s column from years ago are we? I thought we agreed to never speak of that topic again.
• Dear Boy,
I like you and I think you like me. And I want to invite you to hang out sometime. But I’m nervous, and so I’m here ranting instead.
• I’m really sad that Pine’s petty attack on AU students is giving feminism negative press. I am proud to call myself a feminist because I believe that women and men are equals, deserving of the same level of respect. We shouldn’t let one woman’s tirade besmirch such a diverse and worthwhile movement.
• So after a day of heavy rain, AU decides to turn on the sprinklers to water grass.. AU Fail.. Going green fail..
• Fat-bottomed girls
not vegan ballerinas
make the world go round
• Yeah that professor did a stupid thing, but I think we’re losing track of the important part, ie, the Eaglefail.
• Four years later, I really wish I’d just gone for the floorcest.
• stop ranting all over eagle rants, we’re trying to turn it into a new literary form
• Finally had time to watch Obama’s DNC speech and it’s making me cry #pmsemotions
• You’re toxic and I wish it in me to stop being friends with you
• What is it about you that keeps you in my mind?
• Pounding headache!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• @Hughes 3. I would if I knew anyone from Hughes 3! I don’t think going into your lounge and asking for the Eagle Rants cuddler would work, unfortunately.
• Open mic night=alternating waves of sass, angst, contentment, mind-blowedness, etc. It sucks to be female sometimes. But open mics are cool.
• @Addicted to gay sex.
Confession: I am also a straight female addicted to gay sex. At least via the wonderful world of fanfiction, because otherwise I’m not sure how you get your fix (well, porn, I guess would work too…)
• A drunk guy at a frat party got my number last night. I’m really curious now to see if he remembers our conversation, but I think it might be awkward to ask.
• Weighing the pros and cons of texting a guy I met at welcome week asking if he wants to hang out sometime, but I have no idea how to go about doing so casually. Give me advice so I don’t sound stupid? Please?
• props for Eagle Rant haiku
• @ Look, it is not that hard to handle packages… I’m paying how much to go to school here.
You’re paying exactly zero dollars and zero cents to go to school here. Your parents on the other hand. #typicalAUstudent #firstworldproblems”
• Is it weird that whenever I see a crime posting, I make sure that the description doesn’t fit my own. This last crime report fit my description almost too perfectly, but was off by 2 inches in height, the muscular build, and the fact that I didn’t rape anyone that night. I was asleep.
• Girls in my dorm: “What does sperm look like?”
In my head: “I could show you. Just come to my room. Let me unzip my pants. And lets milk it out.”“
• Can we please move on… I’m kinda tired of reading rants about the whole breastfeeding/internet story/reporter thing.
• I have so much pop (yes I said pop instead of soda) in my fridge… I AM KING OF THE WORLD!!!!!
• I hate it when I can’t tell if the noises coming from next door are sex or just really bad music. GAHHHHH
• I’ve got these habits that I cannot break… these are the sins, the sins of my youth!
• I was literally embarrassed for DX at sandslam today, some of them were making such fools of themselves, especially that guy that wasn’t wearing pants.(also wtf, why no pants??)
• @sad little man who equated breastfeeding during class with procreation during class: You need a biology lesson. Babies have very tiny stomachs and thus need to be fed every hour. Especially if they are sick which was the case with Pine’s baby. Procreation can wait until you are in private without any negative health effects. Of course none of this excuses Pine’s immature online ranting which targeted specific AU students.
• Breastfeeding as a professor of a class is very different than breastfeeding on the metro. On the metro, people can choose to look away or look at their phone if breasts make them uncomfortable. A student in a classroom cannot do that. Turning you head away from the professor during class would be very awkward. I don’t see anything wrong with public breastfeeding, but I also don’t see why Prof Pine couldn’t have just pumped some breastmilk into a bottle before class. Just sayin
• If this is what you guys actually talk about then Western civilisation is clearly doomed.
• @Package Pickup Problems: Tell them its something important. Medication or whatever you need to make up. They find it pretty damn fast that way. Or ask your RA, I’ve had mine just get it from the back a lot when I ask.
• Nothing stops this train. Nothing.
• To the kids in the barracks, I feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems but lacking a room ain’t one.
• @Package Room Hater: Listen. We don’t make the system nor are we saying we have a perfect system going, but it ain’t easy. If you had to work long, consecutive hours in the package room, log over 1100 packages in that given time with impatient, often ignorant students breathing down your back you’d be singing a different tune. Especially. When you have people directing their mail to just 4400 Mass Ave. What do you want us to do? Drop your package on the quad?
• Every man needs some titties in his face.
• AU’s Political Science program fails at teaching science. It’s good at politics, but terrible at science.
• This feels like a week to go HAM. You don’t need to sweat on game day when you’ve been training all year, and I’m f***ing ready to go!