• What time is spin the bottle this wednesday????!? 8 in the ampitheetre like last week??
• How the hell do you tell your roommate you are a lesbian?
• I heard that the guy giving blow jobs in the arboretum still goes here… I live in Leonard… should I be worried?
• OH EM GEEZ I’M SWEATING THROUGH MY DRUGRUG
• I hate when my foot falls asleep while I’m doing homework and I can’t find a more comfortable position to lay in to read.
• Only 5823 minutes.
• YES finally it’s getting chilly which means I can start wearing ridiculous hats again.
• Having a planner makes me feel so much more responsible.
• I am better than ever and it’s all thanks to you.
• Can’t tell if I’m not flexible or if my pants are too tight.
• 11 PM on September 10th and STILL No RANTS!
WTF!? Are we going to have to occupy the Eagle office?
• @gay smutty fanfiction reader
MY BRETHREN. Actually, no, I’m not crazy about smutfic but I read fluff all the darn time. You are a cool cat.
• Can we go back to posting random Arrested Development quotes like we did last year? Here, I’ll start with one that’s pretty relevant to this campus right now: They don’t allow you have bees in here.
• Any Supernatural fans? The new season is starting soon, and I need someone to fangirl Destiel with.
• These people in the Hatch are having the weirdest conversations.
• OP, OP, OP, OPPA GANGNAM STYLE.
• GIVE ME EAGLE RANTS, OR GIVE ME DEATH.
• It’s almost midnight, and I want to procrastinate. Where are the eagle rants?!!
• i just wanna f
• September 10, 2012. The day with no rants
• but in all seriousness i know exactly when i’ve begun ovulating because i get so damn horny. actually, this is probably the exact moment i should not be having sex as im more likely to get pregnant (right?). But does this happen to anyone else? Or am i just a hormonal freak.
• That awkward moment when the people on the silent floor glare at you because your flip flops are too squeaky…
• Vegan guy! Hi! I’m a vegan girl!
• @everyone deathly annoyed of noise: Have you heard of noise cancellation headphones?
PS first world problems much?
• @ A friend and I crossed streams in the bathroom in the same toilet at a party when we were both hammered.
Don’t cross the streams. Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. TOTAL PROTONIC REVERSAL!
• I’m surprised at the number of people who have TVs in their dorm rooms. It seems so 90s to me. There’s this thing called Hulu where all the TV shows are online and you can watch them whenever you want. And also this thing called Netflix where tens of thousands of TV shows and movies are online with no commercials.
Why do people still have TVs? It’s such a waste of money and space. So they just enjoy wasting their lives watching commercials? “
• I miss you like crazy. When will someone invent teleportation
• To the person who’s on the board of a club and dating someone else on the board of the club: I know heeheeheeheehee
• We get the point. Adrienne Pine had every right to breastfeed whenever/wherever, but was out of line to publish a mean article about AU students. Can we drop the subject now and stop bashing her? She made a bad decision. She probably (hopefully) regrets it. But this is kind of starting to feel like bullying. So let’s take the high road and just move on.
• Aww shucks, you’re making me blush
Straight (and single)
• That awkward moment when the hottest guy on the floor is your RA. Ugh, AU why must you make my life so hard?
• you changed and you suck and i’m so sad that this is who you are now
• To all those guys (and girls) out there who think they are “forever alone” or stuck in the “friend zone”: just remember that in the end, Ron Stoppable got Kim Possible.
-Straight (and single)
• RE Hughes 5 girls:
this is what happens when you live in hughes…
• Just a friendly note to Hughes 3. Hughes 5 is all freshmen, so they will literally ALL be out on the steps at 3 on Wednesday because that is where and when Honors 101 meets.
• We hooked up and you made me food at 3 in the morning to back up your claim that you are a great cook. Can we please have more sex? and eggs?
• I wish people didn’t worry so much about others lives.
• I just want to cuddle, can you come lay with me?!?
• Don’t rant and then make a status about it. In fact, just don’t rant at all. (I’m talking to one specific person here… everyone else, rant away!)
• @By your definition every class is an elective: No, you are wrong. Plenty of classes are required for majors. Just one example: All Political Science majors are required to take GOVT-105, GOVT-110, & GOVT-130. Those are required courses. ANTH-215 is an elective. Also, biddie is an offensive term used to disparage female bodied people. Not only is that word inapplicable to me, as a male bodied person, but it just further shows the inherent sexism in your argument; that if someone says something “stupid”, then they must be a woman.
• @Standing up to an immature slander of students is sexism now?: The mere fact that you use the term feminazi proves that you are sexist. Equating someone fighting for social equality and recognition of the social construction of gender to the mass and systematic extermination of Jews, homosexuals, and Romani is quite possibly one of the most offensive things you can say. I can only hope that one day you will realize how truly offensive you are.
• So…...everyone on campus is hot now? Is it like a south side thing to be bombarded by non-attractive people? After moving to north side I’m seeing way too many hot people. It’s like….I’m being tested. I just…I just….I JUST WANT SEX. Why am I writing to Eagle Rants?
• Original Murakami poster here. Listen up, jackwagon, you don’t dictate who discusses what or where they discuss it. First of all, I ain’t no hipster. Would it surprise you to learn that I am ALSO the bikini-tanning-on-the-quad girl from spring semester’s rants? Second of all, I don’t have a tumblr because I’m too busy being in the gym and doing homework. So suck it.
• omg no website is a secret society. seriously. “first rule of Tumblr” jfc. just stop.
• A MILLION RAINBOWS AND HUGS TO THE DISNEY A CAPPELLA GROUP!!!!!!!
• @confused freshman; clearly you were informed about the frats by a TKE brah, TKE is awful, Pi Kapp are the nicest, Delts are the chillest, AePi are the most typical “i act like i go to a state school” frat guys, Phi Sig may be this years hottest, PIKE are the athletes (some hot), Alpha Sigs are chill, Sig Ep’s are more save the world less let’s party,
Lambda chi and zeta psi are virtually non-existent,D Chi’s are funny, and EI may not be legit but they deff are the most fun/best parties.
• I want TDR to go but my box is in my room on the other side of campus. There is NO way I’m paying for another box.
• To the AU Library,
I have stolen the real sheep and intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match you will be mortal once more.
• To the student who was disturbed by talking on the SILENT second floor of the library. Don’t put up with it. Go to http://www.american.edu/library/services/infodesk.cfm for live online chat and give the library monitors information about your location. Or visit them in person in the lobby on the first floor. To the students who were talking on the SILENT second floor—shut up! —From THE LIBRARY (Like us Facebook as “American University Library” and follow us on Twitter as aulibrary and aulibrarysheep).
• why are all the buildings over air-conditioned? really sustainable, AU
• I know I shouldn’t be doing it, but it just feels so wrong and yet so right. Like seriously, what do I even do?
• Can’t wait to one day have a motherf***ing, rolly-polly, chubby-cheeked sh*t machine of my own. And then ask my wife NOT to breastfeed it in front of a class and start an unnecessary debate over ethics and whatnot.
In other news, I love Dexter, and Debra Morgan is amazing.
• I think I want a friend with benefits. I’m not sure how to feel about that…
• That moment when you realize you haven’t been paying attention in class for the past 20 minutes. Whoops…
• My psych professor has a folder on her computer named “TO DOOOOOOOOO” with a bunch of seemingly unrelated files and folders in it. It made me like her as a professor even more.
• Okay, professor. That was really rude.
• Eleven years ago today
I had strep throat
and laid on my granny’s couch all day
watching the news.
• First, why would an professor bring a sick baby to a class? Her first obligation is not to teaching but the health of her child. Stay home! Then, not everyone who are paying big tutition, wants to and is and should be obliged to see her breatfeeding HER child. It seems while there is nothing wrong with breast feeding under the appropiate circumstances…standing in front of her students is not one!
• I’m sitting outside Katz right now and an AU shuttle just drove through the intersection while the driver used the speakers on the outside of the bus to tell jokes to the cars that went by. What the hell…?
• Never forget.
• Adrienne Pine is the most disgusting form of arrogant pseudo-intellectual.
• all I want is a booty call
• Adrienne Pine…exactly what I don’t miss about AU…hysterical stupidity.
• There is no justice in a world in which Pussy Riot in imprisoned and Adrienne Pine is allowed to flash her breasts to her class.
• I did not hit her, it’s not true, it’s bulls$&*t, I did not hit her, I did not! Oh hi Mark.
• I wish the biddies here wouldn’t complain so much about there not being any straight guys available because that’s some bull…where them gays at!?
• Lauryn Hill’s new album needs to drop. Pronto.
• EVERYONE WAS FEMINIST-FIGHTING
• @Pine: It’s probably no more appropriate to feed kids with breasts during lecture than it is to feed kids with forks and spoons during lecture. That said, my sympathies for your pillorying. This event wasn’t outrageous and shouldn’t have been turned into such a big deal. But small minds are easily shocked and outraged.
• You are the thunder and I am the lightning… #TEAMSELENA
• does the teacher who brings her sick baby to class allow students to bring babies, let them crawl around and cry and such?
• Giants are going to the Superbowl!
• @Is it bad- You should never, ever feel bad about nourishing your body with food. It’s what you need to stay healthy and alive! Know that there are people out there who love and care about you!
• I don’t understand this. Guys here have the audacity to stare at me and look up and down and yet they’re too shy (or something) to start a conversation.
• I think the board members and others who volunteer for KPU take the dress code a bit too far. Don’t get me wrong, I still think they should dress nice for events but it was funny to see how they dressed (full blown suits and dresses) vs. the rest of the student population (normal attire) when Kristof spoke last night. I think Obama attire for them would be appropriate (nice dress shirt with rolled up sleeves and some khakis).
• @dude, are you serious? I wasn’t even that ranter, and like, a lot of us pay our own tuition. rude much.
What is rude is that he/she was getting annoyed just because of the way things are run at AU. Surprise, no one cares how you feel things should be run. Even if YOU’RE paying for your education and not your parents. #smugrichpeopleproblems
• I have to ask who determines what is professional. Professor Pine’s class was an anthropology class. She provided a classic example of how mother’s are able to take their children to class and still fulfill their work needs. If the mother gave a bottle would this have merited any discourse. I think not.
• Eagle ranters are in the washington post! woo-hoo!
Too bad when the washington post linked the the eagle rants page the first rant that came up is about crossing urination streams. lol
• It’s interesting how everyone is focusing on Pine breasfeeding in class rather than on the fact that she brought a germ infested sick baby to class. Don’t get me wrong, I love babies. But risking the health of her 40 students because she didn’t want to hire a babysitters for a few hours seems selfish.
• To the freshman ranting about what parties are best: shut up and go away. Everyone at those parties either a.) Thinks you’re a biddie and wants to get in your pants, b.) is secretly making fun of you, or c.) is not the kind of person you want to hang around. Have fun!
• Lovin me some Advil #TYBG
• merr I wanted to make a move on Saturday but I was too shy and now I get to hear all about the girl you got lucky with
• Professor Pine should be ashamed for bullying students. She should also be fired. How can this be a place of learning if she is allowed to bully students without any action from the university?
• I MISS MCKINLEY SO MUCH. Good thing I stole a piece of the floor before they closed it. Nostalgia.
• Oh Adrienne. You thought that an Eagle article was going to give you a bad P.R. rep? Now look what the Washington Post and Today Show have done to you… Not smart of you. Not smart at all. But my favorite comment on one of those articles is this: “My teachers always used to say that if you want to eat in class, you have to share with the rest of the students.” I could not stop laughing when I read that.