•Maybe the fact that people are resorting to Eagle Rants in order to express their frustration with SPA Leadership should tell you about how unapproachable its director is and how disconnected we all feel from the decision making process. I’m not insulting the program; this program is insulting me.
•Is it lazy to use the automatically opening doors in MGC even if you don’t have a handicap?
•No stirrers at the Dav last week. No lids this week. COME ON!
•I am ranting during class now. This is bad.
•Yesterday there wasn’t a funny Rant posted by the League of Injustice. How injust is that?!
•We didn’t submit an Eagle Rant yesterday about our escapades. Instead, we were behind you ... watching and judging you all day.
-League of Injustice
•“Do you use your pointy nipples as telescopic antennae to transmit data back to Earth?”
•Since when do Sour Patch Kids not count as a side at Block Express, and why did I hear that kosher meals are two meal swipes?!
•It’s beginning to look a lot like it’s really not time for caroling yet
•Dear AU: How am I going to get an Xmas tree into me dorm room?
•Ranting from my new computer!!!
•Jumbo shrimp are HUGE!
•Having all the Eagle Rants on one day is a bit like binge eating. Having a bit every day is perfect. Please don’t go back to the once-a-week format ... It will crush my soul, just a bit. Please. Don’t crush my soul.
•Dear can’t find a steady hook-up buddy but doesn’t want a relationship,
I’ve been there, keep on keeping on, there are other people that just want to hookup and don’t want to be in a relationship. (You might actually end up in a relationship though, because that’s what happened to me lol, but it’s not something to be feared)
•The line at TDR went all the way up the stairs and went up to the 2nd floor of MGC. The hell?
•Hughes 5 stole a Teddy Bear from a girl on 6th floor and is now holding it hostage. I’ve never been more disgusted with anything at this university. How pathetic are you guys? Grow up.
•Even we wouldn’t steal a girl’s Teddy Bear. I mean, I know we’re evil, but we’re not 5th floor Hughes evil.
-The League of Injustice
•Dear person who’s worried about Media Services judging you,
Don’t worry, if we were going to judge you, we’d do it right to your face.
- A Media Services employee
•Anderson Hall-itis it’s real and its coming for you.
•Shout out to Anderson 3N: meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.
•Dear single Jewish girl:
Not so very attached to my Catholicism. We should meet up. I’m the guy who *always* wears polo shirts. Wait ... That won’t help you identify me ... Hmm ... I’m a heterosexual male psych major (possibly the only one). If you can’t find me, you aren’t trying hard enough.
•Dear “Dear “Sometimes I get jealous of rape victims,” your incredible level of stupidity has given me a migraine.” You’re stupidity is giving ME a migraine. You have no IDEA what I’ve gone through. Despite what feminists want you to believe, there are worse things in life than rape. And those things don’t come with free crisis centers ready to help.
•I am just wondering if there is a rigorous process to join the League of Injustice? Like do you have to steal someone’s shoelace so their shoe is useless? Just curious.
-Hopefully A League Member Soon.
•To the person saying Eagle Ranters are too poor to use eHarmony. No one uses eHarmony. OkCupid is much better and is free. Try and get with the program.
•What the fudge is “SPA Leadership”?
•If it’s been three years and you haven’t proposed, I am going to dump you. I can’t just wait around in a long-distance relationship forever. I need some security. I’m scared you’re going to find someone you like better than me ...
•I really wish the counseling center offered anonymous IM counseling like the GLBTQ center offers.
•What exactly do Phonanthon people do? I mean, I know they call alumni, but, like, do they follow a script or do they just try and make conversation and then ask for donations? Just curious.
•No, I am not addicted to painkillers. I’m just going through a really crappy situation in my life, and I think it is illogical that society gives painkiller prescriptions for physical pain but not emotional pain. Would you rather I self medicate by getting drunk every night and hooking up with strangers?
•There are so many rats on this campus ... and only half pay tuition!!
•How do all these AU girls get Georgetown boyfriends? Is there like some secret underground, arranged relationship situation going on?
•I Rant so I can feel ....
•AU should make and sell a book of Eagle Rants. It would make the University much more money than the damn WONK campaign. And it would be funny to look back at the stupid things we were so concerned about years later after we have real problems like divorce or cancer.
[Editor’s note: The Eagle has actually thought about creating a Rants book. Would you buy it?]
•Damn Rants god, you censorin’ everything!
•Eagle Rants have become to SPA Leadership what Facebook is to cyber bullies. PLEASE get enough self-confidence and maturity to channel your complaints to the appropriate people. Sincerely, an outside observer (who’s sick of reading your whining)
•Sorority girls, tugging on the door repeatedly isn’t gonna change the fact that it’s locked until I open it for you. Have mercy on my ears. Kthanksbye. -Dorm DR
•I spend 3.75 hours twice a week playing hearts and the computer is still better than me.
•WAIT. Didn’t SPA Leadership kids get tickets to see Bill Clinton speak at Georgetown? STOP COMPLAINING.
•Dear the third floor of Letts,
YOU DON’T NEED THE ELEVATOR. Seriously, though, you have two functioning legs. Use them.
The people who live above the third floor and yell at you as the door’s opening
•Contrary to the belief among Eagle-Ranters, I have enjoyed my experience in SPA Leadership. I have my complaints, but I choose to have them heard by people who matter. Sorry to disappoint.
•To the “bashed” math major ... let the kiddies come up with their plans to save the world. I’d rather have financial independence and stability in my 20s.
•Dear person who ranted about people who work on campus having it easy: Clearly you don’t have an on campus job. You should try it. Nothing is more fun than working four days a week at jobs where you don’t get to do your homework, and then coming home and having to do your homework afterward. Sincerely, I haven’t had “free time” in three months.
•I know you’re the sort of guy that I shouldn’t get involved with. I know you only want my body and you might not even know my name, but there’s something about you that makes me want you, which is terrible because I have a boyfriend that I love. But when I sleep, you’re the one that I dream of ...
•“A note to whoever has the job of catching typos in The Eagle: please, for the love of god, resign.”
I SECOND THIS NOTION
•To lower-middle class student who feels left out:
Me too! Wish there were cheaper things to do ... like just walk around D.C.? Haha, why does no one find the simple things exciting anymore?
-Quietly Hating Every Dollar Spent
•Where are all the Naked Juices on campus???? Seriously!
My sandwich, which you put in the over, shouldn’t come out ice cold. Get it together and start giving a crap.
-Hungry After TDR closes
•That feeling when the automatic doors in Letts are already open and then the elevator somehow senses your presence and just opens without any button pressing.
•Guess what? I think that SPA Leadership, AU Dems and Eco-Sense are all really awesome organizations. Instead of complaining about them anonymously, give them direct and constructive feedback so you can make a positive change! Yay!
•Wise words of Emma Goldman: “I am positive that the men who shed their blood for the independence of this land and who offered up their lives to secure the liberty and rights of the American people, must have had a very different understanding of the right of free speech than those who today represent the government and who so interpret the right as to permit the expression only of that which is conducive to their benefit.”
•Dear guy at American University, when you ask a girl out maybe you should check Facebook to make sure she doesn’t have a boyfriend first. Then you won’t feel so dumb when you ask out my girlfriend ... Also, you’re lucky I’m not the jealous type because that would make our History class super awkward for you.
•All I require is someone with a love of music, karate and samurai movies and Tex-Mex. My soulmate will have those things. Still looking, though ...
•Sports Center Annex has the best couches eveerrrrrrr.
Yeah, I didn’t know that building existed either. AU physics is life changing like that.
•Leading Beyond the Limits was awesome. People need to come to more RHA programs because they honestly rock my socks straight off, all day. I actually learned so much and met some great people
-Newly-enthusiastic about leadership
•Is there anyone proficient in Russian that would be even vaguely interested in having stupid conversations about practically anything with me? I want to get better, I really do, but I can’t do it aloneeee. PS: I don’t know many words atm, but I’m a fast learner and morph sentences like a BAMF :D
•Rangos = LOVE
•@“It’s not Warrshington…” - actually, it is. That pronunciation is a documented feature of the dialect of many long-term District residents. You must be new here.
•TDR needs to serve more vegan food, forreal. Or at least be more consistent because some days it’s so amazing and other days I would honestly rather crap in my own hand and eat it than fill my body with that greasy stuff.
That is all.
•I’ve decided to combat my annoyance toward both the Wonk campaign and Christmas songs being played before Dec.r 1 by wonkifying the lyrics of any carols I hear. “...la la la… wonking in a winter wonkerland…”
•Every time I try to get “Beauty and the Beast” out of the library, it’s checked out. I need to meet my fellow Disney-lovers.
•This holiday season, American University has THE stocking-stuffer on everyone’s wish list: the ‘Christmas WONK’ CD! Tracks include “Joy to the Wonk,” “Wonk the Herald Angels Sing” and “We Wonk You a Merry Christmas.” This is a limited time offer. Buy yours today!
•Stop wonking and start working!
•@“Can’t we hook up when were sober too? I’m hot, you’re hot. Let’s do this more often.”
Do you by any chance have dark hair?
•JUST LET ME GO ABROAD.
•What happened to the Smart Water on campus? The water was good and those bottles used to last me for weeks!
•Really? Sending a Blackboard listserv email to a class you took a YEAR ago about an event in the Tavern? Nobody cares about your stupid organization and the stupid event you’re throwing. Stop spamming my inbox with your useless trash.
•Is it just me or do an abnormal amount of girls have mustaches at American? It’s gross. Look in the mirror and deal with it because people aren’t staring because of your beautiful face.
•Dear “SPA Leadership sent an email over the listserv complaining about us ranting about SPA Leadership. Freedom of speech, baby. The program is an obnoxious resume line.”:
•Bash the program all you like, but you cannot say that it’s “an obnovious resume line.” Let me know the next time that you organize and put into action really useful programs like the Community Service Coalition and tons of other service projects ON TOP OF a normal work load.
•Maybe AU should spend money on things that actually bring students in like renovating EQB, Hurst and Letts or buying power strips for the Library and desks that actually fit my books. Then they could actually show buildings on the prospective student tour other than SIS and have a wider variety of what students major in.
•Can’t AU just give the WONK money to students who need the funds?
•WONK campaign budget #thingsthatcouldbebetterused
•I hate reading Eagle Rants written by girls complaining about how much they’re looking for a boyfriend. I’m looking for a girlfriend, but these Rants are so torturous because everything on here is anonymous! Arrgh!
•I NEED SOME WORDS OF AFFIRMATION!
[Editor’s note: YES.]
This is the best Rant I’ve ever read.
•To the person who sometimes gets ‘jealous’ of rape victims because of their hotlines. Joke or not, I hope you realize how much of an incredibly ignorant thing that is to say. #peoplethesedays
•There’s a fire starting in my heart, and it’s for these impending final papers.
•@The LG Bard,
Thank you for responding! I’m glad to know I’m not the only RPG geek here. If there is an ongoing World of Darkness campaign I would love to join in. Only problem is I don’t have any books for it, so I’d have to borrow. Where do the games tend to happen and when?
•Dear ‘people judge me for pressing the stupid button’ and ‘some disabilities aren’t visible’.
I wasn’t ranting at you, and I’m sorry that I managed to annoy/offend you. I don’t mind people pushing the button, and I totally understand the hands-full thing. It’s the people that kick the button that frustrate me; and I don’t mean they press it with their foot, I mean they kick it like it were a soccer ball.
•Why do people seem to find it difficult to take the extra two seconds to shut the door quietly during class? There is nothing more annoying to hear and ruder to a professor than a heavy door slamming shut in the middle of a lecture ... COME ON PEOPLE
•@“My FWS job is awesome.” I think we work in the same office. >.> MGC 2nd floor?
•The Eagle needs better writers; whoever wrote the reviews for Tommy and Dr. Horrible desperately needs to be replaced. Not only did they miss the point of the show in both cases but they got the facts WRONG. How can you write a review and get the names of the actors wrong? Credibility Lost.
•@“Screw Tim McBride.”
I think, considering past Rants, that there is a significant portion of the AU student body who wants to do just that. So ... yeah.
•We can Rant if we want to, we can leave your friends behind. Cause your friends don’t Rant and if they don’t Rant, well they’re no friends of mine.
•You know your life is strange when you’re excited to go back to OHIO so that you can Rant about Korean pop music/dramas. V.V I need more Kpop friends at AU so that I can blast some SHINee and U-Kiss with them <3
•Three things that rock my AU world:
1. Daily Eagle Rants
2. My wonderfully nerdy roommate
3. The Korean Student Association
It is sooo worth the debt that I will be drowning in.
•SPA leadership people are self-centered people who think they are better then everyone else. Me thinks they have no friends outside of the leadership program.
•Nick Rangos, why don’t you appreciate my rants??
•I see WONK people.
•Even The Eagle writers can’t spell “definitely” correctly. I thought I had escaped this issue in college, but apparently, this word shall haunt me for the rest of my life.
•Dear AU Dems and AUCRs,
Everybody tells us that we are next generation of great leaders, and that we need to fix the problems that today’s leaders have failed to mend. By resorting to menial and derogatory remarks about each other for differing ideals or opinions, we are showing that we’re no better than the current leaders, as we are just perpetuating the cycle.
Let’s debate the issues and work for a solution to today’s problems.