Editor’s Note: This is a special, super-early, it-IS-technically-Monday-right-now edition of Eagle Rants. Editor Rants editor has internship training in the morning. Don’t get used to it Enjoy!
•@The last rant from last week:
Just hunker down and stay faithful in every way, physically and emotionally. Infatuations pass with time.
•@LSAT ranter: hahaha you think the LSAT is bad? just wait until law school!
-current law student
•Eagle: Thanks for the recent article about campus construction plans. Can you do more articles about what AU is doing to rise in the rankings? Will all this new construction help our ranking? Thanks.
[Editor’s Note: I’m sure we can look into that.]
•@attracted to your bf's best friend: See if your bf is up for a threesome. Mine was.
• How can I qualify for government grants? S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!
•To the heartless meanie who stole my iPhone: You may have won the battle but you haven't won the war. Please remember karma, and try to treat people and their property with respect in the future. Not everyone has dirty theft-sale money laying around to go buy new things all the time. I can only hope you get the comeuppance you deserve.
[Editor’s Note: You took this a lot better than our former editor-in-chief did…]
•Thank god for anonymous beach hookups. Summer lovin, having a blast.
[Editor’s Note: Summer lovin, happened so fast.]
•To all the haters thinking I moved on too fast: THE SEX IS AMAZING AND SO WORTH THE DRAMA.
•George Zimmerman is my negro.
•@person with leftover oxy from surgery - you do realize prescriptions have expiration dates?
•EAGLE FINANCE BROKE MY PORTAL. Why can't OIT do ANYTHING right?
•"I have some issues that nobody can see and all of these emotions come pouring out of me." Just discovered I love Kid Cudi. Better late than never?
•I want to do an online degree for grad schools after I get out of AU. Does anyone still think online degrees carry a negative connotation?
•I'm really sick of my mother's tax fraud with my trust fund and holding it against me as blackmail so that I can never do anything about it without implicating myself. I wish I could just leave and never come back.
•@No words: I absolutely hate it when a guy asks "You like that?" If I didn't like it, I wouldn't do it. Real sex is not like the kind that exists in porn so there is no need to talk to me like we are in a porno.
•@Where is this girl, she lives in the same building. We used to be friends, but I think she sort of forgot about me. Thus is life.
•Does Zach Cohen relegate Eagle staffers to the Eagle Rants section as punishment/torture?
[Editor’s Note: It’s been known to happen…]
•It's completely normal to fantasize about other guys when you have a bf. The troubles comes when you tell the person you are fantasizing about that you are fantasizing about him. My advice is to enjoy your fantasies and keep them to yourself. And relax.
•I thought I'd get over you once summer started. That was incorrect.
•I miss my french roommate. :(
•CHRIST HAS DIED. CHRIST HAS DIED. CHRIST WILL COME AGAIN.
•I suggest people search Katawa Shoujo. Download it, its free. And play it. You will smile. You will frown. You will laugh. You will cry. Believe me.
•Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
•@Wisdom teeth suck...it's physically and biologically impossible to have six wisdom teeth. There are two on the upper jaw and two on the lower.
•Life is strange and the people who inhabit this Earth are stranger.
•What is up with the small font? Who can read this without squinting?
•Summer song for this week: Pixie Lott and Jason Derulo - Coming Home. Enjoy!
Eagle Rants: June 4, 2012
- June 3, 2012