•Things I like: Electricity
Things I don’t like: People who waste electricity to complain about rants only being posted once a week
•@Increased Premiums: Actually, the law will decrease premiums for everyone. Right now premiums are high to account for everyone without insurance consuming health services without the ability to pay up. When everyone has insurance (especially when those formerly unable to pay can afford it), premiums will be lower because they won’t need to account for other people’s unpaid health bills. Check your facts before spouting your conservative propaganda next time.
•What’s with all of the negative vegetarian/vegan Eagle Rants? #hatersgonnahate
•@“i wish i went to GW”: so go to GW. if you dont like where you’re going to school, dont complain to the people who do; none of us feel sorry for you.
•First of all, I don’t work out *for* my boyfriend. I work out for me and the betterment of my career, which will require me to be in excellent physical condition. Second of all, I am proud of my strength. Thank you
•And when I say “Thank you ” I mean, thank you for the encouragement. It helps!
•As someone who lost their library job once they graduated, I want to know which grads are still working over there?
•When do you think the incoming freshmen will learn about the guy who gives bjs in the arboretum?
•The only Reagan I ever liked was Faye Reagan.
•I have watched all the porn on the internet. I am done. *Drops Microphone
•Interning in DC has made me love booze more and more and more and more and enjoy sobriety less and less and less and less
•Does the editor actually NOT publish any rants? Also do we make you giggle?
[Editor’s Note: Actually, I publish most of the rants we receive. And as per giggling, usually only one or two merit that response.]
•Oh, and I also believe the jackal is worth more than your child…it’s just honestly how I feel. It’s probably smarter anyhow, can contribute more to society .
•Thanks for the awesome sex, I literally can’t stop thinking about it
•Yay for Russian rants!
Мне хочется быть в России, но сейчас я дома.
•I’ll have what she’s having.
•I’m really sad that Magic Mike comes out while I’m in China. I just want to see it super bad.
•“According to science… but… my doctor says…”
Citing your doctor to contradict “science”. Great job. People like you are the reason we have the stupid chain stories on facebook about Einstein proving the existence of god.
•Too many rants about counting calories. If you exercise every day, you can have as many calories as you want.
•Why do people insist on playing Born in the USA unironically as an AMURRIKAF**KYEAH-4th of July song? They do know the song’s about Vietnam vets coming back after the war and getting screwed over, right? (Though there’s an argument to be made that that’s plenty American.)
•Remember when Geico ads used to be funny?
•The Eagle’s Nest should have a slurpee machine.
•I hate everyone. Especially the stupid kids sitting next to me that just came from the Governer’s Ball. I’m miserable. I look like I’m miserable, so why did you have to sit right the f*ck next to me? I hate you, please jump off a cliff.
•Sometimes I feel like I’m trying my hardest to be a really good friend, but no one else is too.