Editor’s Note: Normal Eagle Rants Editor is taking a much needed break for today’s rants. So today’s rants brought to you…for one night only ... by Summer Eagle Rants Editor! He returns!
•i just want you to text me.
•Thirsty girl is on Anderson 6. You guys will have to figure out the rest
•You’re such an ass to me. And you’re really only nice to me and talk to me when you want some. Why do I still like you so much?
•Yeah, there are guys here who prefer dating to hook ups. We exist I promise. Some of us are actually decent looking by AU standards too. You aren’t likely to find a relationship this time of year though—not with finals and winter break about to happen.
•Alcohol = the only thing that will get me through finals.
•I’m a girl liking female accounting major, but you’re probably not talking about me :[. Either way, ask her to hang out! There is no girl on campus that would not be flattered if another girl asked her out. Forreals.
What class do you have with her? Is it intermediate?
•I’m sick of only having feelings for people who can never know my feelings for them.
••pale nerdy girls with cute faces why do I always date you
because we’re pale, nerdy and cute, of course!
•@LDR help: I’m also miserable in a 3 year LDR and wanting help. I wish I knew you because I am drowning in loneliness and don’t know how to make all the pain stop. idk if I can make it until May (when my LDR will finally end and I can be together again with the love of my life). But I know he is worth the wait. I just wish I had more support. All of my friends have local significant others, and they don’t understand how hard it is to be apart from your soulmate.
•@$100 eagle bucks that I’m overweight
I can say whatever I want about how much I weight but I can’t make you believe me haha. Truth is though that I’m not overweight but I am an advocate for equal representation and for people to not hate on other people because of the way their bodies are.
•i can’t get enough of you, baby
@I’m so sick of my friend group here treating me like crap: go to various clubs to meet people. During your first meeting, you might only meet a few people, but if you continue to go to clubs that are relatively active, you will make some new friends
•@looking for straight, outgoing guys looking for a real relationship. We exist. Want to meet at the Dav on Wednesday, say around 2:00pm?
•@part of our religious upbringing: yeah, that was my main point. Pre-marital sex is ok, but BC isn’t? Still just curious
•Hi, fool here who has booked his life in DC through the 24,
•What am I supposed to do? Say, “hi will you go out with me in a month?” I’m planning on asking her out, just when I come back for the spring semester.
•when I said we couldn’t be friends I didn’t mean it. can we be friends? I miss you.
•1) Saint Paul says absolutely nothing about our modern notion of homosexuality. He talks about prostitutes in the temple/some random person decided to translate a Greek word who’s meaning we have no idea of as homosexuality. The acts he condemns are not that of two people of the same gender who love each other
2) Just because Jesus never mentioned it, doesn’t mean that people can’t draw conclusions from the text
3) So what if Jesus was gay? Is your faith so weak that it would be destroyed by something as trivial as that?
4) It was a joke.
•I’m not someone people notice. I’m so glad he noticed me.
•Awkward library sex. Never, ever again. . .
•Ask me out already!!!!
•my perfectionism is my greatest shortcoming.
•I’ve friendzoned at least four white girls since Monday. I love me.
•Let me clue you in on something. Olympic weightlifters compete in weight classes. Those in lower classes have to cut weight, but those in the highest class have no incentive to do so, so they eat thousands of calories a day to fuel hours of training per week. There’s nothing healthy about it, they sacrifice their health for the sake of their strength and their sport. YOU don’t do any of those things, so don’t use their commitment as an excuse for your bad habits.
•adderall prices here are absurd! $12 for an XR… wtf?! That’s almost as bad as people trying to sell an 8th for $60… #freshmanidiots
•Be nice and do good. Every day is new.
•I don’t know why more people are giving a hoot about the so-called “apartheid” in Israel when the Syrian government is killing their own people. Smh
•@“Does every black person know each other here at AU? I swear I was sitting in MGC sitting near two girls and piles of other black kids kept coming by and hanging out with them.”...I noticed that too, but is that a big deal?
•Kerwin’s salary has increased by almost $31,000 from fiscal years 2009 to 2011.
This is unacceptable. Good on The Eagle for doing some real reporting!!
•@Ranter who said “There’s a really cute blonde guy with glasses”: I know who he is! wanna bone?
“I’m one of those annoying hipsters who listens to obscure music” ahahaha oh i bet you do you idiot
The dance team is all poop
•She packed my bags last night…..preflight.
•yo, can you people start using ShittyLAL? I made this wonderful site for you people, and now it’s just sitting there, untouched, gathering dust. I even added a chat feature, but that’s irrelevant IF NO ONE IS EVER ON THE SITE. And I think we all take chat features for granted. I certainly did. It took me like two weeks to plan out how I was going to implement it plus several hours of actual coding. It would just be cool to see it in action once in a while.
•Eagles are turning people into horses
•To my friend—I haven’t seen you as much this semester, but I love you very much.
editor, thank you for the rants!!
•@Hooking-up-is-not-the-answer: If he really loved me, he’d be the one reaching out. Wouldn’t he..? If he could prove it, maybe then I can get the reassurance I need to fix my train wreck lifestyle
•2nd floor study room Mitt Romney loves you all, and he wants you to know that all he really ever wanted was your approval and friendship. Hugs on request.
•Someone posted about me on AU Compliments and it almost made me cry. It’s been a rough day, that was just what I needed.
•Billy Dooley is by far my favorite basketball player.
•Looking back at Welcome Week makes me see how far I have come in meeting people and making friends- I am surprised but happy to say that it’s been a great semester. By the way, what is the first initial of “Nice Girl?”
•@Chai Mix: I KNOW, RIGHT?!?
Just bored at work and thinking about how much I love you. I am so lucky.
•Dear biddies on the 3rd floor:
Quiet does not mean normal level biddie screeching. Shut the frack up, because some of us are actually trying to study.
•What were people complaining about on the quad today?
•Number 43 on the basketball team kind of looks Amish but I kind of like it.
•I’m trendinggggggg I’m trendinggggggg!
You are all doing SOMETHING right. Haven’t been around a more intelligent, revolutionary, powerful, and inspirational group of women before.
•“We girls sniff our underwear at the end of the day before we put it in the hamper. Ya, it’s a thing.” uh. that is not a thing. you may do that, and more power to you, but that is not a thing that girls do.
•@wants to try talking first: that actually would make me even more willing (I’m not sure if this is for me though, there were two posts about doing the same thing sex frequency-wise in high school)
•to “je t’adore” - did we work together on a project in class? If so I’d totally hook up with you, just text me already.
•YOU ARE ALL WRONG. Okay here’s the breakdown: SOC is Hufflepuff, SIS is Gryffindor, KOGOD is Ravenclaw, CAS is Slytherin. And everyone else is a squib.
•@My friend who responded to my caligula response, good for you
•Poll for all ranters, with all the sex stuff and holidays, would you rather have
a)holiday themed orgy
c)a whole lot of holiday comfort food to ease the pain
d)a quite vacation with the family that feels nice on the surface but deep down you feel pathetic
e) all of the above
•1. HIPSTERS DO NOT LISTEN TO KE$HA SO YOU ARE NOT A HIPSTER. 2. HIPSTERS DON’T ADMIT THAT THEY’RE HIPSTERS, THEREFORE YOU ARE NOT A HIPSTER.
•I’m a hipster that listens to obscure music and I’m not ashamed to say that Gavin DeGraw’s new live album is the best piece of musics I’ve ever heard since Creed’s “Human Clay.” Higher is my jam.
•People who sneeze through their nose and not through their mouth make me want to kick puppies. Same with people who have baby sneezes. UGGH.
•If he checks you out when he’s peeing in the bathroom, he wants the D.
•I propose everyone posts the initials of their ex that they can’t seem to forget or want to talk to, so maybe that person can know.
•I literally feel completely and utterly alone here. My best “friends” go off and do things without even a thought about me, and I really have no one else. I honestly have never felt so completely lonely. Don’t tell me to join clubs because I’m in plenty. I really am just miserable. And I don’t know what to do. And I’m not a freshman, which is the most pathetic part.
•CAN THIS TABLE OF AXOs ON THE QUIET FLOOR JUST SHUT UP
•I wish people wouldn’t change their schedules so much. I was so excited for this class last week and now I’m not. Why you no stay in my class?
•@Are there any straight, outgoing guys out there actually looking for a relationship rather just a hook up? Can’t seem to find one and I’m wondering if they still exist!
Yes. Just look around. Read previous rants. I’ve tried for months to find someone.