• I demand a puppy room to deal with the stress of finals! That college in Canada has one it’s not fair.
• @ “You sound hilarious! I’m in!!! P.s.- no need to pay me in Pringles canisters. Lol.”
Okay, but I’ll have you know I don’t clean up after myself and I am a champion Polar Bear wrestler. This is the jelly that makes all the girls show mildly interested looks.
• @“I can’t find Palestine on a map… maybe because it isn’t a country”
I can’t see your dick even with the help of the Hubble telescope…maybe because it doesn’t exist.
• I friggin love TKE.. so glad my friends introduced me to the brothers.
• That horrible moment you’re calling people at the Phonathon and you get a fax machine… and you still have to make three asks.
• Okay, this guy was walking the other direction than me, and his face just made me want to smile. Props to you, tall guy. Props to you.
• Ugghh I am so boring.
• @“My whole life nothing has ever worked out my way.”: You don’t know why you’re unhappy. This may be a stupid question, but have you tried talking to someone? And not just talking…. actually talking. And the other person actually listening. You need to find someone so you can just stop, not think about anything else, and just let go of everything. Say anything and everything that is bothering you, or something you think is bothering you, or something that is totally irrelevant. Just talk. Took me 17 years to find that person for me, and he’s my best friend.
• @I know this sounds crazy, but I’d like to actually try dating you/ talking first. Is this a deal breaker? Nope. That’s a deal maker. Are you free Friday?
• @are there any other commuters out there that can tell me its not that bad? That you can still enjoy your college experience? I commute from Gaithersburg. It’s not that bad. Plus, you get to do more fun things on campus because you can be more productive at home.
• @PTSD “dis-order:” Amen. Thank you, you hit the nail on the head.
• @ the guys who asked where the thirsty girl’s bed is… I’m in Anderson
• @mlp yeah I’m a brony as well, only I haven’t seen any of season 3, damn atv cable if only you had the Hub I could watch MLP and Transformers Prime!
• @Cockles AU - yeaaahhh, hahaha, seeing ‘Alternate Universe’ trips me up sometimes too. American U problems, I guess? xP I’m not into RPF either but I guess we’ve all got a RPF ship or two in us somewhere. shrug.
• I think the boy I hooked up with abroad is in love with me…and I may still care about him, too.
• “I find it unconscionable that… (“PTSD”) is classified as a mental illness and referred to as a “dis"order, which denotes “otherness” and a departure from the expected…It is no wonder that such personal sacrifice triggers a response of stress.”
mental illnesses that are triggered by the environment, rather than simply nature, are still mental illnesses. 2. more importantly, you just implied that people with mental disorders are “Others” who “depart from the expected.” This made me angry because you reinforced a terrible stigma associated with one group while self-righteously defending another group.
• Our library needs to have a special “students who never come besides during finals week” section, because I am tired of having to readjust my favorite spot.
• @alcohol poisoning - I definitely laughed because this sounded like a guy I know that I helped out this weekend. But I don’t think he reads rants, so best of luck to you!
• I love making awkward eye contact with you from across the room. Except not really. Don’t worry, I definitely still remember those texts, let’s see what happens friday. Hahaha
• sometimes, while reading through rants, i come across one that completely mirrors how i feel or what i’m going through. the fact that i am apparently not alone on our little campus makes me feel slightly better and slightly more hopeful.
• @ “untreatable brain tumor” - I truly hope that doctors will be able to find something to help you out. Best wishes & stay strong!
• Wait, why does she think birth control is wrong? I mean it’s her choice and all, but she’s obviously letting you do stuff with her (which most people are opposed to if they are against BC). Just curious
• I’m a guy who doesn’t get clingy with girls. Just saying
• @whenever guys get clingy: I feel the exact same way! And it makes me feel bad because it’s always such sweet, awesome guys, but whenever they get clingy I physically feel sick to my stomach. And when they do the cutesy emoticons…some girls are wild about that shit. I, for one, want to vomit.
• How do you suggest to someone you’re lightheartedly talking to and haven’t gone on a date with yet that you two should have daily sex for finals stress relief?
• @“so some biblical scholars…” That is beyond perfect. Pat yourself on the back immediately.
• @My bra is hurting me….can girls readjust their bras in public like how guys readjust themselves in public?—girl i readjust my bra on the daily and while i try to be discreet about it, i really think it is no big deal. unless there’s a nipslip there’s nothing to see.
• @commuter, it’s not that bad. my commute includes a walk and the cardio has been good for me, too, so there are even benefits.
• Confused but glad it happened. I knew it was wrong and im glad you ended.
• is it weird im glad finals are here…. so i can go back home
• alcoholic? what is needed to be known as one?
• @bra is hurting me, i adjust my bra all the time. in public. i mean it’s not like i’m showing them to people or try to draw attention to myself. just do iiiit
• lemme smang it girl
• I want to tell you you’re beautiful without it being creepy or making you uncomfortable, but I think it probably would, so I’ll just think it constantly every time I hang out with you.
• It seems like lately a lot of people are ranting about missing their ex or having feelings for them….honestly if that’s the case, LET THEM KNOW. You’re having these lingering feelings for some reason, see what it’s about.
• How long is The Eagle going to run “The Top 30 Reasons I’m Glad I Have POTS” on the front page? The piece is now over a year old. Can the editors or anyone else think of any other newspaper that runs year-old columns on the front page of its webpage? Serious question.
• @”@To the group of four who were talking about their bowl movements and awkward bathroom moments in TDR
Where are these people? I want to be their friend!”
...is it bad that I had to stop and think if you’re talking about my group? I wouldn’t hold it against us to talk about that sh*t (no pun intended) in TDR.
Oh well. anyway, yeah. say hi. we’re awesome
• My LDR bf and I had the biggest fight we've ever had this past weekend. We've been together for 4 years, and I've never cussed at him or screamed at him like I did this weekend. I've been looking forward to spending Christmas with his family for years, and he told me he is going without me and we can see eachother after Christmas. I'm livid. But I feel awful for screaming at him and I'm scared he will leave me. He's been ignoring me for a few days now. Do you think he will forgive me?
• @always unhappy and don't know why: Some people have lower levels of serotonin in their brains than others. (aka the happy neurochemical). Your serotonin levels are mainly based on genetics. There is no game in getting help. You live in the 21st century in a developed country where there are many medicines avaliable to you to treat your depression. Don't give up before you've tried all your options.
• The fact that the last time I made a rant (out of the extreme seldom times, mind you) was back in October with a friend, just joking around. But checking out the recent ones now potentially can make a lot of them seem like they were written by me to a specific person, which pisses me off because it's SO untrue. It hasn't been me at all. Terrible coincidences.
• @vanilla cupcake/how do you know: We girls sniff our underwear at the end of the day before we put it in the hamper. Ya, it's a thing. And other girls have told me that they also smell like vanilla cupcake around ovulation. So try and time your sexual favors around that time of month.
• Turns out it was food poisoning! It wasn't just the thought of having to be near you again that made me nauseous. Good to know
• @commuter: I have to commute an hour. I won't say I don't miss living on campus. But you will get used to the commute and after a few weeks it will be no big deal. I still go to lots of on campus events, participate in clubs, etc. You will be fine.
• I've never been so lonely or scared. Tell me it will all be okay. Tell me to hang in there and it will all be over soon. Tell me he will call me back and stop ignoring me. Tell me he still loves me. Tell me it will all be okay.
• I know your ex-girlfriend was a bit demanding. Maybe you should move on to a fun relaxing relationship with me
• West Wing on Amazon is bad for my productivity level…
.> You said hi to me the other day—and it made me really happy, even as just a gesture of friendship. I think you’re an awesome guy and I’m going to cry when you go back to your home country TT.TT
• I love you. There I said it. Too bad you will never know it.
• why does the media portray fat dudes as charming and funny and can get a hot girl but the fat girl is the punchline of a tired fat joke? fat hate is an awful thing. and don’t give me that crap about fat not being healthy. it’s possible to be fat and still be healthy (see powerlifters)
• @friend thinks you’re a stalker
maybe you need to check your behavior. maybe she didn’t feel comfortable telling you to your face that you were being creepy because maybe you were being creepy!! she might not be making things up; behavior you construed as normal might have been read as being creepy. ask around. maybe you’re creepier than you realize.
• @“Yeah, yeah, yeah, Je t’adore on your way out, will ya.”
ahh the nanny, too classic
• I felt like I had wasted my time with you but you ended up making me less reserved about going after what I want.
• @SPA IS RAVENCLAW…tell it like it is!
• There is one study hall monitor girl that is so adorable. She lights up everyone’s day and is absolutely STUNNING!
• I keep unblocking you on facebook chat to see if you’ve blocked me on facebook chat. This has to stop but I just can’t. I know you saw me today. I miss you.
• Where do I find AU Compliments? I feel dumb for not knowing this haha
• I really hope whatever career I have after college makes triple what my roommate makes. Her life is so damn easy. It would be great if we could switch places for one day so she would know how I feel. Then all I’d have to do is go to her stupid desk job for a few hours and get paid to do nothing. And have almost no homework ever. And she would cry if she knew all the sh*t I have to deal with on a regular basis. Karma is such a b*tch.
• @“If you still like me or want anything to do with me, just reach out to me like I’ve been occasionally doing to you” - any hints?
• “whenever guys get clingy” - I don’t know many girls that wear plastic wrap, perhaps you’re just not ready for something too serious? Is it them, or you?
• I hate it when a person types aggressively on their keyboard; I feel so bad for the little keys being so forcibly shoved down, and it is really distracting when I am trying to write my own paper.
• The less you eat sweets, the less you crave them.
• I have one close friend here and that is it. Why is it so hard for me to find friends here?
• SEXUAL TENSION GRRAAAAHHHH *sigh* well time to masturbate and then feel disgusted with myself emotionally
• For the Editor: Editor do you find all these rants about sex
d) a mix of all three
(anyone else can answer as well)
[Editor’s Note: three parts c, one part b. Shaken, poured over ice.]
• Ke$ha’s new album just dropped…my life is complete once again.
• I honestly have no idea if it’s really obvious that I’m into you or not.
• Heard about Stoodel. Lol’d at “it’s like when people get to TDR their brains just stop working and they forget how to walk and talk and act normally. just because there’s food everywhere doesn’t mean you can be a moron.”
• guys hook up with me a few times, then never want to see me again..what is wrong with me?
• To the guy that wants to kill himself,
Could you at least wait for a thunderstorm and sit in a pool until it strikes you dead? I want to see if you go back it time, for science of course. If you’re successful, kill Hitler and see if someone smelt it then it was truly dealt by the smeller.”
• I ship the two Republicans in my comm class.
• Why is SafeConnect so damn awful? Maybe that Kerwin guy should use tuition for better internet, eh?
• Who’s that scrub on SportsZone, second from the left?