• Hey sexy!! I did it. I asked you to hangout. Here goes nothing ;p
• A friend of mine died on Friday and all I wanted to do was get drunk. I guess you didn’t realize the tear stained eyes.
• I’m a guy and I have never been kissed before and I can’t imagine whether a first kiss would be an overwhelming emotional experience or just wet and meh.
• @“the reason it’s hard to look at you…” God I wish this was about me. The details of this are similar to the ones with my ex and I, but I know it’s not him writing it. I probably never even cross his mind. But I still miss him and want him every minute. I just don’t know how to let go of him.
• For better or for worse, it’s all in place now.
• I’m hoping after winter break, I’ll get over this crazy crush.
• We are all minor characters in the lives of people who have their own thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams, and desires. Think about it.
• About my stress ball, it was actually a stress ball. No innuendo or porn involved.
• I’ve been home for a day and I’m already anxious to get back to DC. Bring on senior spring.
• There are no hot female professors at AU. Did you hook up with an ugly one?
• Facebook really, really needs a “sleeps frequently with” relationship button.
• Home for less than 12 hours, and already I’m sick of it. I met all of my friends at AU, my old high school buddies have faded me out. The ones that haven’t are closer to my ex-girlfriend than to me. I guess it’ll be a reading and Netflix kind of break…
• @okcupid questions: No shame at all. Tons of AU students on it. And unlike match.com, you actually have to make a profile before you can see other people’s profiles so no worries about people judging you because anyone who can see your profile also has a profile.
• I totally agree about period poops. They’re so much softer than usual poops. Although period poop smell is not something I would like to have all month.
• Dear whoever decided it was a good idea to not only poop all over the floor of a Hughes 3 bathroom stall, but to smear it all over the wall and decorate it with used toilet paper (how festive!)...you’re beyond disgusting. Don’t care if you were drunk or high or whatever or not, it’s sick and there’s literally no possible valid excuse. NOT OKAY.
• I am so thankful for meeting a good group of friends here. You guys aren’t just my best friends at AU. You’re my best friends ever because I never had friends in high school. Thank you and see you after break!
• hi bb!!
• Dear random RA at my door at 5AM,
I know you have your duties and enforcing 24/7 quiet hours is one of them. I’m just curious: where are you during the rest of the day when people are yelling in my hall? What are you doing around at 5AM? That’s just creepy to me, honestly.
• @period poops: Hey, come on now! We all know girls don’t poop.
• @ I <3 The Dav: We <3 you too.
• UGH I miss you already.
• @"I wish there were more women who went on Reddit…"
Me too dude. Me too.
• "I really wish you were gay. You are so cute…"
As a cute guy, how do you know I'm not.
• @ "I wish there were more women who went on Reddit…" lol maybe if reddit weren't so rampantly misogynistic more women would! reddit is like in this little nook in the corner of the internet that smells like satan's butthole
• @"proved privilege does exist"
Believing privilege is a myth (it is) does not immediately imply privilege exists. I don't see the logic in your assertion. Yeah, I don't recognize your falsely inborn right to BAAWW about how unfair life is. Deal with it.
• omg yes the quiet floor of the library at 2 am is the most appropriate to have a private conversation on your cell phone GOOD JOB AND GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FINALS GOOD SIR
• Editor, can you give us some indication of how rants are gonna go over break? I just wanna know so I can stop checking this page so often in vain.
[Editor’s Note: Weekly, posted on Mondays.]
• "I’m a guy, and I judge girls who have a lot of casual sex. But I also judge guys who do it." man you might just be uptight. for reals, unless your sexual partners are having unprotected sex w/ you and other people simultaneously and being generally dishonest and unsafe, in the words of salt n pepa, ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
• @"Gay guy who wrote that.- I wasn’t being serious or trying to offend anyone." thanks for offering a sincere apology and not acting offended when someone called you out. as a woman, I really appreciate that! dudes need to take a note.
• "the best poops are period poops" that is just not true. you get period cramps and poo cramps all at the same time and it's basically the worst thing ever.
• man, we're starting the "Caucasian Club" business all over again? that sh*t is tired, you hicks.