•@I will tan in a bikini: You are what is wrong with society
•We do hundreds hours of philanthropy, have some of the highest group GPA's on campus, participate in almost every student activity/organization here, take full class loads, have internships/other jobs, and donate thousands of dollars to incredible causes, but you want to call us "sorority sluts?" Okay. Good thing we're too busy running this school and practicing to run the world to care.
•It has been 60 degrees and windy for the past week. If you have been wearing a bikini around campus lately it's not because it's hot out. It's because you want to show off...and I am okay with that.
•@im a republican and my life is great; seriously? I'm probably more republican than you but I take meds, my girlfriend dumped me and I'm on academic probation. Republican does not equal awesomeness. Some of us are living in the trenches here!
•@"And showering at night and going to bed gives you split ends" Um, No it doesn't. lol And showering at night is much better for your health because then you don't lie in your own sweat and filth all night soaking in the germs you picked up during the day. Night showering is the way to go, sister.
•"If anything, the school should be sponsoring my tanning when tour groups walk by. Bitter much?" LOL. Narcissistic much? I literally cannot believe you. Hopefully someone will point you in the direction of a beach. Its great you love your bod but I just don't want to see it.
•U know nothing about the EPA. You are dumb to continue to drink bottled water. SO MUCH EFFING WASTE. WASTEFUL PERSON! SHAME SHAME
•"Or, you know, you could get a double major with an internship on the side AND graduate early. But who would want that?" Haha already doing that
•@”Are you really at college to find a husband? That's kind of sad. College is the time to find yourself, and learn and spending it looking for a guy is a serious waste.” Can one not learn AND look for love? It’s kind of sad that you think that can’t be done. My bf /future husband actually enhances my learning greatly. He has a different major so he teachers me about what he learns and I teach him about what I learn. Don’t hate on love. It just makes you sound like a jealous, bitter, single person.
•What’s the yellow ribbon program?
[Editor's note: The Yellow Ribbon program is a supplement to the GI Bill, more or less, that helps veterans pay for college.]
•@”Nothing says future resentful parent quite like failing to live your own life before creating another.” Why do you assume I am not ‘living my own life’ when I have kids? Having kids will add greatly to my own life and nothing could make living my life happier that living it with kids. No one said parents who work can’t be loving parents. Now stop assuming parents who don’t work before having kids didn’t “live their lives.” There is more to life than work you know.
•The Potomac River is so romantic. Perfect for a date.
•@“Don't get snotty about how you "work out" by running outside, because that just tells me that you don't know anything about physical conditioning whatsoever.” Apparently you’ve been watching too many late night infomercials if you think you need expensive equipment for conditioning. It’s called lunge jumps, push ups, planks, sit ups, etc. There are thousands of conditioning exercises you can do that do not require expensive equipment. And equipment spreads germs anyway.
•@”My relationship is completely screwing me up. My emotions feel like they were just poured down a garbage disposal. Help...” Been there. :( It sucks. Try to make a list of happy things in your life that you are looking forward to and check the list whenever you feel down. It helped me.
•I wish I could nominate all my professors for an award.
•@the guy/girl who just had their emotions dumped down the garbage disposal: If you think your relationship is worth saving, give the effort to make that happen. But if it isn't, or if your efforts don't pay off, leave it and find someone better. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve someone who wants to/can/will make you happy.
•Cheese doesn't require murdering animals. It doesn't hurt animals to milk them. They enjoy being milked.
•@”@"I don’t want a state school husband." I wanted to throw up when I read this. Either you're a racist or a gold digger.” lol How is that racist? AU has a much higher percentage of minorities than my state school, so that accusation makes no sense. And as for the gold digger part, I have plenty of my own “gold” thank you very much. There is nothing wrong with wanting a partner of equal or greater intelligence. And AU is full of very intelligent students.
•There were rants last summer?!?!
Mind = blown.
•@”If a guy or a girl was excited about being a parent it'd probably make me want to throw up.” You do realize that sentence makes you sound like a psychopath, right? Why do you hate parenting so much? Would you rather all kids grow up in orphanages? Or roam the streets begging like in Brazil? You sound like you popped out of a Charles Dickens novel. Maybe you can go work for Newt Gingrich and help him with him plans of turning school children into after-school janitors.
•Why are hotel rooms so expensive? grrrrr
•You're not the only one with a quadruple major. So shut up.
•@”I really love when random undergraduate AU students try to tell students with acne about what drugs they shouldn't take. I trust my dermatologist way more than some stupid undergraduate ranter.” Suit yourself. But you should always do your own research before blindly taking drugs a doctor prescribes you. You know they make deals with drug companies if they sell certain drugs right? And Accutane has VERY serious side effects and many lawsuits have tried to take it off the market. And I’m not an undergrad, btw.
•@”It's about time modern day women realize their place is in the kitchen. Good for you girls.” Actually many housewives have cooks. And many housewives have husbands who like to cook or share the cooking. And just because someone enjoys cooking and spends hours in the kitchen each day, doesn’t mean she isn’t doing many other things and going many other places as well. Housewives don’t just stay in the kitchen. They can go wherever they like throughout the day. They have complete freedom.
•@ lonely in your room, go $/@& yourself. I hate being alone, but hate people. Seriously, $@&) you int oblivion, $@&) for brains.
•I love you roommate, but can't you spend some time outside our room ever?!? For once I would like to have some alone time myself to just blast my own music and do whatever the heck I want without you judging me.
•boy in Weis's western philosophy class ; D
•Oh, how much I laugh at the decision to switch back to A/C. Mother Nature was just toying with us, don't you see? Waiting for us to give in... Just when the time was right and we thought the good weather would keep coming, BOOM. I'm freezing in my room again- without the A/C on. >___<
•I know you probably don't read these anymore, but I'd really like if you'd let go and just kiss me already. Please?
<3 Your best friend
•To the bottled water know-it-all: You look like a moron. Do you ever drink Dasani, for example? Tap water. Any water that says "purified" on the bottle is just tap water. Fiji water is no better - huge carbon footprint, and inadequate water resources for the people that actually live around the bottling plants. Obviously you don't know anything about pthalates or the concept of leaching, either. Microwaving is not necessary - if the palate of bottled water sits in the sun for too long after being offloaded from a truck it's sufficient to have plastic leach into the water.
•If it talks like an attention whore and tans on the quad like an attention whore...
•It's okay... people who like showing off their bodies usually end up with an STD of some kind. Yes I hope you get one ...
•Trivia Night at Armands is awesome. That is all.
•Conclusion: Finals time makes eagle rants funny again!! Good work, guys. The dude(tte) with the sleep/paper rants, particular kudos.
•To the person who said there was no implied contract to giving oral sex, there most certainly is. No one should expect oral sex without giving it in return. Have you never heard of etiquette? If the other person insists that they don't want oral sex in return, that is all fine and dandy. But you should at least offer if someone gave you some.
•I'm not sure if I can make it to my last final. My brain is running out of brain gas.
•Sometimes I get so lonely I call AU Central to ask questions I already know the answers to.
•@person who says silence is not consent- the editor kind of addressed your claims but I hope you realize how idiotic that sounded. Anything other than yes is no and did you ever think about someone being so scared of what was happening to them that they froze? You don't know how people react in situations of rape so expand your mind past you and your boyfriend because it's not all about you...
•My cleaning lady is annoying the s*** out of me. She starts 10 tasks and then asks me to finish them. Ok why would put in a second load of laundry if you weren't going to finish it? Just wait until next time to do it! Ugh.
•@person who wants to throw up at the thought of someone else wanting to be a parent: You realize that the human race wouldn't exist if everyone thought like you right? And your disdain for not just the thought of yourself parenting but the though of OTHER people parenting makes ME want to throw up. Please never ever reproduce. And good luck finding a partner with your attitude towards other people.
•Dear grammar nazi, no one likes you. Shut the f*ck up because no one cares.
•ALL women should be forced to wear orange prison jumpsuits and shackles.
•One question on my mastering physics homework had 13 parts. <3 AU physics, but really? REALLY?!?!
•STOP CHEWING YOUR GUM SO LOUDLY. GOOD GOD YOU SHOULD LIKE A COW.
•EXCUSE me, I will tan IN A BIKINI on the QUAD all I WANT. I work out HARD every day, and I look d*mn GOOD. If anything, the school should be sponsoring my tanning when tour groups walk by. Bitter much?: Well don't you sound just delightful. Random capitalization much?
•re:re: why I use a hairdryer: You think waaaay to much about your hair. Everything's going to be okay, just bring it down a bit.
•I PITY THE FOOL WHO hates on other people's grammar and then messes up their sentence structure "PS No studies have found no melted plastic in water bottles (unless you microwave them)." That means that all the studies found melted plastic in all the water bottles....which doesn't support your argument that bottled water is safe. Silly hater, common sense is for eco-friendly kids!
•@Why I love being Rebulican... WTF. What does any of that have to do with being republican?!!?!?
•Gotta make a plan
Gotta do what's right
Can't run around in circles if you wanna build a life
But I don't wanna make a plan for a day far away
While I'm young and while I'm able all I wanna do is...
•I'm a guy who could see himself marrying a woman with a career who didn't want kids, or a woman who wanted to have kids and be a stay-at-home-mom. Both lifestyles have their pros and cons. BUT, a lot of you SAHMs out there seem to be really delusional about what that really means. Raising a child entails a lot more than pre-natal yoga and taking your kids to museums... You definitely don't get to "choose what I do each day and when I do it". That was honestly one of the stupidest things that I've ever read.
•The new, extra-large cups at TDR make me feel like my I have tiny hands.
•last college all nighter ever, wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i am free!!!
•I'm so scared you'll stop loving me.
•Very impressed with how many more online course offerings AU has this summer compared to last summer. It only grows every summer. Props AU. Now I can vacation with my family in Spain while still taking classes. Eagle RAVE! (as opposed to Eagle rant haha)
•I find that Charles Mingus' Piano Version of "Body and Soul," brings back the warmth seen in the Coleman Hawkins Rendition.
20 points if you can tell me the main instruments of each of these guys without looking. 10 more points if you can name other songs by them.
•I'm so bummed that they're showing Midnight in Paris at 8 in the amphitheatre. I know my RA is having a mandatory floor meeting at 9, and many others are having them at 9 or 10, too. I was so excited to see that movie in the amphitheatre.
•THIS IS THE MOTHER LICKIN LIBRARY, SHUT YOUR MOUTH. PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO DO WORK YOU WHORES!
•If people can't give "consent" to have sex when intoxicated, then almost all married couples rape each other several times a year.
[Editor's note: Under the law, there is such thing as marital rape. But remember, consent is a tricky, fluid thing. Someone can give consent after drinking. Someone else could have not given it. It's tricky tricky tricky tricky.]
•"NEWS FLASH: NOT EVERY GIRL IN PR OR MARKETING IS IN A SO-RAWR-ITY. STOP HATING!!!!!!!!!" THANK YOU!! i hate greek life. and im a pcomm major. #thankyou
•Alright, so I was sleeping peacefully this morning until my roommate comes into the room with her annoying pretentious friend. They continue to have a loud conversation while I am sleeping thus waking me up. Is it that difficult to be considerate of other people? I would never dare walk into a friends room and wake up their roommate whom I am was friends with. I swear some people here really need to realize that they are not the center of the universe.
•Thanks for signing up for Cat Facts! You will now receive fun daily facts about CATS! >o<
•I think this girl in one of my classes is really beautiful, even if she isn't exactly skinny.
•I appreciate aramark workers so much. BUT PLEASE STFU WHEN IM TRYING TO WRITE A PAPER AT 6AM IN THE LIBRARY. THIS IS THE QUIET FLOOR. Again I love you guys but please be quiet.
•I hurd obamars a hammersexual
•I got Hufflepuff on potter more. Why God, Why???????????
•Ok, so that new Florence and the Machine song 'breath of life' is amazing and I can't stop listening. I feel so powerful writing this research.
Eagle Rants April 27, 2012
- April 27, 2012
•@I will tan in a bikini: You are what is wrong with society