2008 Woodie Awards
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The Scene
Doin' it: 'WAM' bam, thank you, ma'am: fetishes
By Pierce Hardcastle on 10/25/07
So, here's a little introduction to the basics of domination and submission. Sure, there's pain, torture, servitude and the like, but it's all consensual and usually, for the benefit of both involved. How it usually works is one person acts dominant and the other acts submissive. The dominant has the control. This relationship is about the power dynamic and is more of a metaphorical distinction or role. Safe words, out-of-the-ordinary words to tell your partner "game's over," are real and important in these relationships, when screaming "no" and "stop" is part of the game.
A more practical or literal relationship is between the top and the bottom. This is the same as in anal sex, but since there are so many possibilities in BDSM, the definition is expanded to "the top applies sensation to the bottom." Basically, if there's whipping going on, it's the top doing the whipping and the bottom getting whipped.
Usually, the dominant partner is the top and the submissive one is the bottom, but not necessarily. There are different kinds of tops and bottoms. A top can be following explicit instructions from the bottom and is called "a service top." The main difference between a bottom and a submissive is that submissives don't give orders.
BDSM is complicated and interesting, but not inherently wrong or inappropriate in any way. Not everyone has to like it, but I think it is important to have a minimal level of understanding and tolerance so we don't associate people's sexual hobbies with deviance. Coming Out Week isn't really about telling people things; it's about feeling confident in your wants and needs and understanding and recognizing other people's needs as well.
A more practical or literal relationship is between the top and the bottom. This is the same as in anal sex, but since there are so many possibilities in BDSM, the definition is expanded to "the top applies sensation to the bottom." Basically, if there's whipping going on, it's the top doing the whipping and the bottom getting whipped.
Usually, the dominant partner is the top and the submissive one is the bottom, but not necessarily. There are different kinds of tops and bottoms. A top can be following explicit instructions from the bottom and is called "a service top." The main difference between a bottom and a submissive is that submissives don't give orders.
BDSM is complicated and interesting, but not inherently wrong or inappropriate in any way. Not everyone has to like it, but I think it is important to have a minimal level of understanding and tolerance so we don't associate people's sexual hobbies with deviance. Coming Out Week isn't really about telling people things; it's about feeling confident in your wants and needs and understanding and recognizing other people's needs as well.
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